The "Fuck my life" thread

[at0m]

[quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg240038#msg240038 date=1330566024]
I've got an 8 page essay assigned.

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Uh.

12 point Arial font, solves some things.[/quote]Way to be obvious, scrub. 10 pt, space and a half. Although some college courses define font, size, and spacing in the syllabus.

[Dr. Zaius]

[quote author=If-I-Die-Its-LAG! link=topic=3709.msg240040#msg240040 date=1330568948]
[quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg240038#msg240038 date=1330566024]
I've got an 8 page essay assigned.

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Uh.

12 point Arial font, solves some things.[/quote]Way to be obvious, scrub. 10 pt, space and a half. Although some college courses define font, size, and spacing in the syllabus.
[/quote]

Simple solution.

Type your paper. Go ahead, type it. Yeah, it's shorter than you need? Ok, now hit control+f . . .

Oh god what happened? You want to do an advanced find, replace all periods, commas, quotes, etc. that you want to with the same punctuation.. but...

in a bigger font. If you wrote in 12 pt, use 14 pt for the punctuation, etc. Oh hey, look, less blank space. /freshman comp.



Also related to the thread, I'm out of a job.

MMM really gonna make going to ACen that much more of a thing. Have my ticket paid for, gonna have to scrape up money for the room though. Whatever, it'll work.

[at0m]

Hint: if you spend more time trying to fluff your college paper than it would take to write a couple additional pages, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to the nearest fast food restaurant and file an application.

[Vandamguy]

i broke the cardinal rule: look for toilet paper before shitting. (at work)

had to wipe with scraps that were leftover on the floor.

used a lysol wipe on my anus when i got home. now i have a tingly feeling between my cushions.

[Dr. Zaius]

Hint: if you spend more time trying to fluff your college paper than it would take to write a couple additional pages, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to the nearest fast food restaurant and file an application.

There are two things I can bring up here:

That the difference between fluffing a paper to criteria length or writing a little more actually matters as a freshman in college. (and to expand upon this, I often have trouble meeting word requirements or page length requirements. I use very scholarly and otherwise intelligent diction when I write seriously, and I can often explain my ideas better and in less space than your common writing students.)

That what I said, as quoted, was that it was a simple solution.

[[SiN] Merc]

i broke the cardinal rule: look for toilet paper before shitting. (at work)

had to wipe with scraps that were leftover on the floor.

used a lysol wipe on my anus when i got home. now i have a tingly feeling between my cushions.

I always go for backup in the form of paper towels myself. Although once I did have to use a sock, a pocket knife, and God-given ingenuity at a Mexican restaurant that housed a bathroom that was a desperate, paperless wasteland. I entered that room a naive boy, and left a man from that experience.

[at0m]

Merc link=topic=3709.msg240057#msg240057 date=1330583069]
[quote author=Vandamdad link=topic=3709.msg240052#msg240052 date=1330578248]
i broke the cardinal rule: look for toilet paper before shitting. (at work)

had to wipe with scraps that were leftover on the floor.

used a lysol wipe on my anus when i got home. now i have a tingly feeling between my cushions.

I always go for backup in the form of paper towels myself. Although once I did have to use a sock, a pocket knife, and God-given ingenuity at a Mexican restaurant that housed a bathroom that was a desperate, paperless wasteland. I entered that room a naive boy, and left a man from that experience.
[/quote]The part of me that has had to be compartmentalized after dealing with the aftermath of a flushed sock, thanks you for cutting the sock into flushable pieces.

[[SiN] Merc]

[quote author=[SiN] Merc link=topic=3709.msg240057#msg240057 date=1330583069]
[quote author=Vandamdad link=topic=3709.msg240052#msg240052 date=1330578248]
i broke the cardinal rule: look for toilet paper before shitting. (at work)

had to wipe with scraps that were leftover on the floor.

used a lysol wipe on my anus when i got home. now i have a tingly feeling between my cushions.

I always go for backup in the form of paper towels myself. Although once I did have to use a sock, a pocket knife, and God-given ingenuity at a Mexican restaurant that housed a bathroom that was a desperate, paperless wasteland. I entered that room a naive boy, and left a man from that experience.
[/quote]The part of me that has had to be compartmentalized after dealing with the aftermath of a flushed sock, thanks you for cutting the sock into flushable pieces.
[/quote]

Naturally. I'm not some sorta barbarian.

[matter11]

Merc link=topic=3709.msg240066#msg240066 date=1330618665]
[quote author=at0m link=topic=3709.msg240062#msg240062 date=1330602641]
[quote author=[SiN] Merc link=topic=3709.msg240057#msg240057 date=1330583069]
[quote author=Vandamdad link=topic=3709.msg240052#msg240052 date=1330578248]
i broke the cardinal rule: look for toilet paper before shitting. (at work)

had to wipe with scraps that were leftover on the floor.

used a lysol wipe on my anus when i got home. now i have a tingly feeling between my cushions.

I always go for backup in the form of paper towels myself. Although once I did have to use a sock, a pocket knife, and God-given ingenuity at a Mexican restaurant that housed a bathroom that was a desperate, paperless wasteland. I entered that room a naive boy, and left a man from that experience.
[/quote]The part of me that has had to be compartmentalized after dealing with the aftermath of a flushed sock, thanks you for cutting the sock into flushable pieces.
[/quote]

Naturally. I'm not some sorta barbarian.
[/quote]

The first time I read it I thought you were also using the pocket knife to wipe. Needless to say I was mildly aroused.

[Luinbariel]

[quote author=at0m link=topic=3709.msg240051#msg240051 date=1330578150]
Hint: if you spend more time trying to fluff your college paper than it would take to write a couple additional pages, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to the nearest fast food restaurant and file an application.

There are two things I can bring up here:

That the difference between fluffing a paper to criteria length or writing a little more actually matters as a freshman in college. (and to expand upon this, I often have trouble meeting word requirements or page length requirements. I use very scholarly and otherwise intelligent diction when I write seriously, and I can often explain my ideas better and in less space than your common writing students.)

That what I said, as quoted, was that it was a simple solution.
[/quote]

You have to be careful with that, though. An extended vocabulary is nice, but if you're taking it a little too far you're making your papers way more complicated than they need to be. You might be able to explain yourself more concisely, but is it making it more of a slog to actually understand?

I used to have a really good book about how to trim down papers and how to simplify without fucking things up. Took a good class on it once at uni as well.




All that aside I've done the padding a paper with bigger punctuation trick and gotten away with it. It didn't add pages, mind you; then you really are stretching it at the prof will notice. But it added the half-page I needed or so. The extra little bit that I just couldn't seem to fill. No one noticed.

[Geoff]

gf of a year broke up with me, made me feel subhuman -- still unsure of whats happening with this



on the bright side:

as soon as that happens, diff babe hittin me up on the facebook AWW RIGHT

but still

[Vlambo]

gf of a year broke up with me, made me feel subhuman -- still unsure of whats happening with this



on the bright side:

as soon as that happens, diff babe hittin me up on the facebook AWW RIGHT

but still

You're going to college next year right?

CONGRATS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO YOUR COLLEGE LIFE HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, NOW YOU AINT GONA BE THE "MY HAVE A GF AT ANOTHER SCHOOL" GUY

[Cloud_9ine]

NOW YOU AINT GONA BE THE "MY HAVE A GF AT ANOTHER SCHOOL" GUY

This

[Kirby]

Getting back on topic in the FML thread;


I stubbed my toe. 

[zaneyard]

I have to go to the clinic this weekend and get a blood test

[A. Crow]

I have to go to the clinic this weekend and get a blood test

I hope it something treatable by antibiotics.


On a lighter note: 

If you tell the VA your platoon's adopted stray bit you at the beginning of deployment, they insist you get rabies vaccinations a year later.

[Dtrain323i]

I have to go to the clinic this weekend and get a blood test

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

[zaneyard]

[quote author=zaneyard link=topic=3709.msg240388#msg240388 date=1330999673]
I have to go to the clinic this weekend and get a blood test

I hope it something treatable by antibiotics.
[/quote]
I'm not sure yet, and I don't want to be that guy that self diagnoses, but I'm pretty sure I've narrowed it down to a few things.
I'm not really worried for my health at all. In fact I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Maybe it won't really sink in until I get a test done and get the results.

[quote author=zaneyard link=topic=3709.msg240388#msg240388 date=1330999673]
I have to go to the clinic this weekend and get a blood test

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

[/quote]
I do, and the ironic part about the whole this is that I rarely have sex.

[Cloud_9ine]

abc

[DragonEkarus]

...Just had that awkward moment where you realize everyone's gone silent because you're the retard no one really wants to talk to let alone be aware of their existence... That's a rather fun situation XD