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The Stratafyriad
Stratafyre
N00b


Posts: 5
Joined: Aug 2008
#1
08-11-2008, 10:29 PM

Sing, o merciless sirens, the minor tribulations of Stratafyre.
Rightful lieutenant of Poseidon, forced by circumstance and,
lack of job experience, to toil as a lowly peon in the grand
machinations of the lord of horses and earthquakes.

The sun shone upon the steel leviathan, like a rusted phoenix,
rising from the ocean with the infinite malicious scent of a
thousand dead fish. Their mission to strip the sea clean of
anything resembling edible was completed yet again.

Thus did Stratafyre escape from his own personal Hades,
fleeing across the skies with a pocket full of fishy gold.
As is the case with any of the mortal race, this overwhelming
amount of affluence burned its way free within days.

A new machine, forged by Hephaestus himself, and graced
with both the speed of Hermes and the intelligence of Athena,
he sought to test his craftsmanship against the monsters of
the Earth, challenging the titan Crysis.

The ground shook and buckled beneath their feet, but it was
clear in the end who the victor was. Crysis lay torn and
mangled on the ground, the setting of Very High not quite
high enough to defeat the machine of Stratafyre.

And thus, the machine was christened “Hand Banana” for
the capacity to rape Crysis. However, what was this?
Team Fortress 2, only $20? Stratafyre recalled his days,
a decade hence, playing connect the red dots.

He would need to find a server, one that held between
10 and 20 others, and two forts. There was one, with
an acceptable ping. Through the course of the next hour,
he discovered that which would keep him coming back.

For example, the fact that it was always “All jorge”,
That the sweaters were always really soft, so long
as you hid outside of the spawn point with sticky
grenades and an evil grin.

More importantly, halfway tolerable voice chat,
that neither killed his ears nor left him consistently
bored. A server that always had players, and
increasingly recognizable player names.

Soon enough, an invite was sent, to join a group
of Steam. Random events and a consistently middling
score, and an introduction post was requested.
But it had best be good, he was warned.

Jokingly, the format of Epic Poem was suggested,
but this was taken farther than originally anticipated.
And here we are, an epic poem, of man and machine,
and how they came to be right back, uninstalling.
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Mission Difficult
BRB, Posting


Posts: 1,771
Joined: Mar 2008
#2
08-11-2008, 10:33 PM

Love it. +1


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Neonie
Guest

 
#3
08-11-2008, 11:01 PM

Well he said he was going to write an epic poem and he did.
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Scary Womanizing Pig Mask
Fierce Pork Trooper


Posts: 2,553
Joined: May 2008
#4
08-12-2008, 12:03 AM

+1 for actually folowing trough with writing the poem.  Nicely dome Smile



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CaffeinePowered
Mad Hatter
*******

Posts: 12,998
Joined: Mar 2008
#5
08-12-2008, 01:04 AM

(08-12-2008, 12:03 AM)Scary Womanizing Pig Mask link Wrote: +1 for actually folowing trough with writing the poem.  Nicely dome Smile

Hurray for originality


[Image: caffsighl7.jpg]Â[Image: 1184299259221.gif]
Sig by Joel
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Squishy3
Closet Furry


Posts: 5,757
Joined: May 2008
#6
08-12-2008, 01:11 AM

epic poem is indeed epic. welcome.


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Dave
White Lighting - Extra 50% Free


Posts: 4,177
Joined: Jun 2008
#7
08-12-2008, 08:22 AM

i nominate you for brb,u poet lauriet (or however its spelled.)


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copulatingduck
Following in Gordon's Footsteps


Posts: 7,518
Joined: Apr 2008
#8
08-12-2008, 08:34 AM

(08-11-2008, 10:33 PM)Mission Difficult link Wrote: Love it. +1


Ripped like paper
raped with ease
hey scrub nerd pyros
suck on these
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Eschatos
Jack Thompson Fan Club Member


Posts: 4,447
Joined: Mar 2008
#9
08-12-2008, 08:44 AM

(08-12-2008, 08:22 AM)Dave link Wrote: i nominate you for brb,u poet lauriet (or however its spelled.)

laureate



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CaffeinePowered
Mad Hatter
*******

Posts: 12,998
Joined: Mar 2008
#10
08-12-2008, 11:12 AM

(08-12-2008, 08:44 AM)Eschatos link Wrote: [quote author=Dave link=topic=1147.msg30015#msg30015 date=1218547341]
i nominate you for brb,u poet lauriet (or however its spelled.)

laureate
[/quote]

I think we should make him the official bard, so I can call him 'Spoony'


[Image: caffsighl7.jpg]Â[Image: 1184299259221.gif]
Sig by Joel
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Vongore
The Chilean God of Lightning


Posts: 3,371
Joined: Jul 2008
#11
08-12-2008, 11:15 AM

i dont' get your avatar D:! it's an emo kid or a cat jumping a fence?


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dapngwnman
Lurker


Posts: 332
Joined: Jun 2008
#12
08-12-2008, 12:13 PM

Fucking shit he actually did it.

Stratafyre for prez.
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liquid108
Lurker


Posts: 202
Joined: Jul 2008
#13
08-12-2008, 01:28 PM

And thus Stratafyre wrote his poem
Beautiful words he typed with his hand
We should celebrate with a jeroboam
Because now he is known throughout the land

Welcome  Smile


One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
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Luinbariel
Snailcat ..@:3


Posts: 4,520
Joined: Jun 2008
#14
08-12-2008, 02:15 PM

Welcome, epic fiend!
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Dave
White Lighting - Extra 50% Free


Posts: 4,177
Joined: Jun 2008
#15
08-12-2008, 02:18 PM

I once knew a man from kentucket
when he saw anything he would
-Scotty G'd-
Big Grin


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Versus
My fursona is a blops attack dog


Posts: 10,103
Joined: Mar 2008
#16
08-12-2008, 03:43 PM

(08-12-2008, 02:18 PM)Dave link Wrote: I once knew a man from kentucket
when he saw anything he would
-Scotty G'd-
Big Grin

lol

Welcome Smile, also epic poem.



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fyre
BRB, Posting


Posts: 1,968
Joined: Mar 2008
#17
08-12-2008, 04:54 PM

Oh shit.
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Stratafyre
N00b


Posts: 5
Joined: Aug 2008
#18
08-12-2008, 04:59 PM

(08-12-2008, 04:54 PM)fyre link Wrote: Oh shit.

Oh, shit!
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cannedpeahes
Fan of Vampire Romance literature
*

Posts: 1,188
Joined: Apr 2008
#19
08-15-2008, 12:17 AM

Fyre. Stratafyre.

Well, this'll be a lovely transition.
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Chooly
BRB, Posting
***

Posts: 768
Joined: Mar 2008
#20
08-17-2008, 05:35 PM

(08-12-2008, 01:04 AM)CaffeinePowered link Wrote: [quote author=Scary Womanizing Pig Mask link=topic=1147.msg29973#msg29973 date=1218517425]
+1 for actually folowing trough with writing the poem.  Nicely dome Smile

Hurray for originality
[/quote]

+1 You are welcome addition to the forum.


[table][tr][td][Image: style5,The-spc-Pwnrgization.png] [/td][td]Chooly: /nevergonnagiveyouup
Eschatos: /nevergonnaletyoudown
[TC] Versus: /nevergonnarunaround
[TC] Versus: /anddesertyou
ToiletDuck: /closeapplication[/td][/tr][/table]
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