The "Fuck my life" thread

[Dr. Zaius]

Got 2x fortune cookies with no fortunes in them.

return of the misfortune cookie

[Kirby]

[quote author=Kirby the Dick link=topic=3709.msg235834#msg235834 date=1325984050]
Got 2x fortune cookies with no fortunes in them.

return of the misfortune cookie
[/quote]


I'm thinking more along the lines of I don't need a fortune because the world is ending this year.

[matter11]

return of the misfortune cookie

that sounds like an entertaining B movie.

[A. Crow]

[quote author=Dr. Zaius link=topic=3709.msg235842#msg235842 date=1325988007]
return of the misfortune cookie

that sounds like an entertaining B movie.
[/quote]

More likely that you're full of shit.

[Kor]

Merc link=topic=3709.msg235769#msg235769 date=1325927576]
[quote author=Vongore link=topic=3709.msg235733#msg235733 date=1325893053]
I think in these circumnstances a pocker Kor would be more effective, just squeeze him and hear him say "MAN UP!"

Pull the cord on his stomach, and he tells you to "Get on point, CUNTS."
[/quote]

I laughed heartily. The mental image of me as a pull-string doll sitting in someone's shirt pocket handing out honest but gruff advice was perfect for the first pondering of the day.

Edit: +1's

[Kirby]

Paying Time Warner for a 20/2 line, been getting 0.9/0.2 for a week or so now. Issue has been intermittently occurring for over 2 years now, normally these spats go on for 3-5 weeks.


They keep telling me to power cycle my cable modem.


I told the tech I was speaking with earlier when she said that to go get fucked by a cow and to get me a manager, in that order.

[Didzo]

Where did winter break go? And why do I have this sense of dread about going back that wasn't there a year ago?

[zaneyard]

I told the tech I was speaking with earlier when she said that to go get fucked by a cow and to get me a manager, in that order.

yes, because it's tier one help desk's fault that your ISP sucks balls and that they are required to follow an operating procedure for service calls on connection issues. S

[k0ala]

This is where I would assume the Voice of God and put some fear into the tech.
LOOK AT THE CASE NOTES,
TIER ONE SUPPORT TECHNICIAN
READ THEM WELL
REALIZE THAT NO LESS THAN FIVE TIER ONE TECHS BEFORE YOU
HAVE READ THESE NOTES
AND POSTED THAT THEY
WERE ESCALATING THIS MATTER
TO A TIER TWO TECHNICIAN
WHY
ARE YOU NOT
DOING THE SAME?

[beep beep diglett]

im a furry now

[beep beep diglett]

fuck my life, and my ponies!!! i jsut fucked a pony

[[SiN] Merc]

fuck my life, and my ponies!!! i jsut fucked a pony

I have never had sex, and I will never have sex, as I plan to keep my hymen, and therefore; my virginity, intact. Peep this shit; Do the same! Sexhavers are disgusting. Namaste.

U LIE

[Pariah]

Merc link=topic=3709.msg236012#msg236012 date=1326084821]
[quote author=Diglett link=topic=3709.msg236010#msg236010 date=1326083913]
fuck my life, and my ponies!!! i jsut fucked a pony

I have never had sex, and I will never have sex, as I plan to keep my hymen, and therefore; my virginity, intact. Peep this shit; Do the same! Sexhavers are disgusting. Namaste.

U LIE
[/quote]
he's not lying and he referred me to brbu after having some awesome roleplay

[Coelit]

[quote author=[SiN] Merc link=topic=3709.msg236012#msg236012 date=1326084821]
[quote author=Diglett link=topic=3709.msg236010#msg236010 date=1326083913]
fuck my life, and my ponies!!! i jsut fucked a pony

I have never had sex, and I will never have sex, as I plan to keep my hymen, and therefore; my virginity, intact. Peep this shit; Do the same! Sexhavers are disgusting. Namaste.

U LIE
[/quote]
he's not lying and he referred me to brbu after having some awesome roleplay
[/quote]
I have the most awkward smile on my face right now at the thought of this and only god knows why.

[Kirby]

I've got this headache that feels like there's a small midget standing on my head with a hot wire cutter, attempting to saw the left hemisphere of my brain in half every time my heart beats.

I sit down and move as little as possible so my heartbeat is at idle, it goes away. I get up and take a few steps, my brain feels like it's on fire. Oh and I start to throw up.


Maybe Hopefully I'll just have an aneurysm and be done with it.

[Eschatos]

As yall might have heard I failed Calc 3 and had to drop out of Physics 2 last semester.  That shit can't happen again and I'm interested in staying in college so shit is changing in my life.  This basically no means no real video games for a semester.  No Dota, no Blood Bowl, no TF2(not like I played that anyway), no nothing.  My Brbu presence is going to be pretty much limited to the forums and casual games for the next few months until I get shit turned around.  Wish me luck.

[zaneyard]

As yall might have heard I failed Calc 3 and had to drop out of Physics 2 last semester.  That shit can't happen again and I'm interested in staying in college so shit is changing in my life.  This basically no means no real video games for a semester.  No Dota, no Blood Bowl, no TF2(not like I played that anyway), no nothing.  My Brbu presence is going to be pretty much limited to the forums and casual games for the next few months until I get shit turned around.  Wish me luck.

call me for free sex when you get out.

[Kor]

As yall might have heard I failed Calc 3 and had to drop out of Physics 2 last semester.  That shit can't happen again and I'm interested in staying in college so shit is changing in my life.  This basically no means no real video games for a semester.  No Dota, no Blood Bowl, no TF2(not like I played that anyway), no nothing.  My Brbu presence is going to be pretty much limited to the forums and casual games for the next few months until I get shit turned around.  Wish me luck.

Wow, I can't believe you're moving onto a cutting edge progression-based RL. Maybe even bleeding edge. So hardcore  :o

GL, cunt. <3

[rumsfald]

[zaneyard]

Rummy do you offer lessons on how to be awesome at everything?