The "Fuck my life" thread

[Eightball]

I've recently been dealing with how complex and difficult mental illness can be. Not me, but an immediate family member. It's probably not good to reveal too many details, but no simpleminded, affirmative approach will seem to help things. Mental illness precludes the idea that you can reason with someone or take normal measures to help them. And the world of psychiatric medication is so very foreign, with each drug apparently creating as many problems as it (supposedly) helps. This is made even worse when the affected is incapable of conveying entire symptoms and histories to a doctor, and when I cannot be present for the visit. Perhaps the most difficult thing is the amount of self-control needed to deal with illness so close to home, when the stress is enough to make you want to lash out at the person who is most in need of attention. It's becoming a real test of how well-adjusted of a person I am.

Sorry for the vagueness, but these are just some thoughts I've had in my head. Figured it would help to get them down somewhere. Maybe see if anyone else has relevant experience to share.

[Didzo]

I've recently been dealing with how complex and difficult mental illness can be. Not me, but an immediate family member. It's probably not good to reveal too many details, but no simpleminded, affirmative approach will seem to help things. Mental illness precludes the idea that you can reason with someone or take normal measures to help them. And the world of psychiatric medication is so very foreign, with each drug apparently creating as many problems as it (supposedly) helps. This is made even worse when the affected is incapable of conveying entire symptoms and histories to a doctor, and when I cannot be present for the visit. Perhaps the most difficult thing is the amount of self-control needed to deal with illness so close to home, when the stress is enough to make you want to lash out at the person who is most in need of attention. It's becoming a real test of how well-adjusted of a person I am.

Sorry for the vagueness, but these are just some thoughts I've had in my head. Figured it would help to get them down somewhere. Maybe see if anyone else has relevant experience to share.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having to face this situation. Psychiatric medication varies in its effectiveness from condition to condition as well as from person to person. I obviously don't know what exactly you're dealing with, but if therapy without the use of drugs is at all an option, pursue that route as far as it can be taken. While logical reasoning won't work if the person is not in a lucid state, learning the rules of how they perceive things can help you reason with them on their own level (if that makes any sense). But if you get to that point, you have to be careful not to turn yourself into a crutch. I really do hope that you other immediate family with whom you can relate to in combating and coping with this situation. It also helps some people to use humor as a way to release some of that frustration you feel towards the individual.

[Surf314]

I've recently been dealing with how complex and difficult mental illness can be. Not me, but an immediate family member. It's probably not good to reveal too many details, but no simpleminded, affirmative approach will seem to help things. Mental illness precludes the idea that you can reason with someone or take normal measures to help them. And the world of psychiatric medication is so very foreign, with each drug apparently creating as many problems as it (supposedly) helps. This is made even worse when the affected is incapable of conveying entire symptoms and histories to a doctor, and when I cannot be present for the visit. Perhaps the most difficult thing is the amount of self-control needed to deal with illness so close to home, when the stress is enough to make you want to lash out at the person who is most in need of attention. It's becoming a real test of how well-adjusted of a person I am.

Sorry for the vagueness, but these are just some thoughts I've had in my head. Figured it would help to get them down somewhere. Maybe see if anyone else has relevant experience to share.

My wife has anxiety problems and it's rough. I've been there with her when she was briefly insane because of withdrawals from anxiety meds. I've been there through many panic attacks. I've been there through career changes because the career she originally wanted was too stressful. I've sacrificed my own happiness many times to be there for her. I've had many times when I couldn't enjoy myself traveling or on vacations because I needed to be there to help her get through the initial panic of being in an unfamiliar place. I've seen a side of her not many have because she is comfortable enough with me when she hides her true feelings from everyone else.

I wish I could tell you based on these experiences that everything will be OK, but I can't. They will need you there for them but you can't help them directly. You have to be there so they have the support to help themselves - to figure out their own way of dealing with things. There is a good chance with enough help and support they will get better - but they might never be able to live a truly normal life and there can always be setbacks. You will probably find better days ahead. You may change the way you deal with them because of your experiences now though - and that might not always be best for them. There may be a time when they need you to stop treating them as someone who needs your help and you can't. There may be a time when your protectiveness over them keeps them from taking their next steps. You will probably not keep yourself from having mixed feelings for them - to deeply care about them but also resent them for the things you have to give up in your own life. It's not easy. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for how it makes you feel. It's not selfish, it's natural. You will have to deal with your own shit as well and it won't do you any good to suppress it. But just remember it will probably be impossible to know what it is like to be them. Remember that they don't want this any more than you do, that they are going through something worse than you. You don't need to understand how they feel, just that they probably can't help feeling it. That it's hard to get through and it will take them time to figure out how to deal with it, if they can figure it out.

[The Generic Name]

School denied my appeal.  I can go in person to try to appeal again, but...I don't know if its worth trying because I just started a new job, I'm trying to pay for an apartment, and I already feel like I need a break from it.  I do want to get a degree from the school, but at this point in my life, its up in the air for the moment.  One thing is certain though...I need a beer.

[Eightball]

Thanks for your wisdom. There's probably not much to do at this juncture but take it each day, and probably to allow for some space as well.

Generic, can you resume your degree progression later? If so, work and a break aren't a terrible idea.

[rumbot]

8Ball, as someone who has chosen a healing profession, you will be prone to want to heal, to fix, people in pain. Sometimes the pure fix-it route will help, but not often enough.

That's because many health problems, including but not limited to "mental illnesses," are often as much a combination of biological problems as they are learned maladaptive behavior.

So, the flip side of prescriptive medicine is education. People need to realize for themselves, learn for themselves, that the choices they make are not improving their distress.

Good questions to ask, when someone talks about their maladaptive choices, are variations of "how is that working for you?" The first step toward making a change is being aware that something one is doing is not working.

[Chooly]

So I Lend this guy money..
And at the end of the night he apparently tries to take advantage of my girlfriend..

So now if I see him again I'm going to take more than my money back.


But at the same time, I was not there, there was nobody else around when it happened..
GF is fuzzy on the details, she was really smashed.
She just remembers 'pushing him away' and then 'being really mad at him.'
I should ask my semi sober friend what he remembers about the rest of the night after we found them walking towards our apartment.
Should mention too that she just kinda disappeared from the bar we were at..

Fuckin' people man..

[Chief]

So I Lend this guy money..
And at the end of the night he apparently tries to take advantage of my girlfriend..

So now if I see him again I'm going to take more than my money back.


But at the same time, I was not there, there was nobody else around when it happened..
GF is fuzzy on the details, she was really smashed.
She just remembers 'pushing him away' and then 'being really mad at him.'
I should ask my semi sober friend what he remembers about the rest of the night after we found them walking towards our apartment.
Should mention too that she just kinda disappeared from the bar we were at..

Fuckin' people man..

take this literally: fuck bitches, get money. disclaimer: this may or may not be good advice. do not follow if deemed stupid

possibly better advice: be the better man, dont get violent or anything but you should demand answers without seeming insecure about anything. dont let your mind dwell on it long, otherwise your mind will start making up random fucking possibilities and you'll just get madder/sadder/feels-er about it.

[StolenToast]

I asked my boss for three days off work.  He gave me 16.


This is FML because it's a summer job that I got to get PAID, and I can't get paid if I don't get hours.

[cbre88x]

I asked my boss for three days off work.  He gave me 16.


This is FML because it's a summer job that I got to get PAID, and I can't get paid if I don't get hours.

That's generally not a good sign.

[StolenToast]

[quote author=StolenToast link=topic=3709.msg270114#msg270114 date=1375061876]
I asked my boss for three days off work.  He gave me 16.


This is FML because it's a summer job that I got to get PAID, and I can't get paid if I don't get hours.

That's generally not a good sign.
[/quote]Luckily it's a shitty job that I don't like or need with an insufferable manager.  But there are only two weeks left of my workable summer and I was hoping to make some spare dough...

[KarthXLR]

5-hour flight layover in London. Lucky I brought extra books I guess.

[DragonEkarus]

Needed to make 50 dollars by thursday and discovered the plasma center I go to has told me I can't come in for the next six months because I haven't donated in thirty days. Decided all was not lost and went to another plasma center nearby, average wait time is about four hours in an un-airconditioned room with about fifty people and to make maters worse they wouldn't take me because I didn't bring my Social Security card, last place just wanted the number.

Wonder what'll get shut off first...

[at0m]

Well, internet access doesn't do you much good without electricity.

[Gump]

http://www.registerguard.com/rg/news/302...t.html.csp

Welp fuck my life. I live in bumfuck nowhere in Oregon and some of these wildfires are like 30 miles away from me. We get summer thunderstorms a lot but when we had one last week it hadn't rained AT ALL and so it was even more abnormally dry. Fortunately I live in a canyon-like area, which means it's less prone to spread due to high winds. Still I'm getting prepared to pack up and go north for the night if this gets much worse. The sky here is really thick and toxic. No evacuation warnings here...yet.

[Kor]

http://www.registerguard.com/rg/news/302...t.html.csp

Welp fuck my life. I live in bumfuck nowhere in Oregon and some of these wildfires are like 30 miles away from me. We get summer thunderstorms a lot but when we had one last week it hadn't rained AT ALL and so it was even more abnormally dry. Fortunately I live in a canyon-like area, which means it's less prone to spread due to high winds. Still I'm getting prepared to pack up and go north for the night if this gets much worse. The sky here is really thick and toxic. No evacuation warnings here...yet.

Not everyday some describes the sky as 'thick and toxic'. Let us see what you see!

[at0m]

indeed, this is when you start livecasting out your window, son

[Didzo]

[quote author=Gump link=topic=3709.msg270172#msg270172 date=1375217068]
http://www.registerguard.com/rg/news/302...t.html.csp

Welp fuck my life. I live in bumfuck nowhere in Oregon and some of these wildfires are like 30 miles away from me. We get summer thunderstorms a lot but when we had one last week it hadn't rained AT ALL and so it was even more abnormally dry. Fortunately I live in a canyon-like area, which means it's less prone to spread due to high winds. Still I'm getting prepared to pack up and go north for the night if this gets much worse. The sky here is really thick and toxic. No evacuation warnings here...yet.

Not everyday some describes the sky as 'thick and toxic'. Let us see what you see!
[/quote]

30 miles is a ways away, unless if the wind is blowing directly at you. I've had more than one wildfire get up close and personal with my neighborhood, and while it is exciting, having soot coat everything including the inside of your lungs for days is not fun. So fire danger or not, I'd get away just due to air quality if possible.

[Gump]

It was worse yesterday, no smokey skies at all today.

You can check it out here: http://inciweb.nwcg.gov/incident/3562/

I'm right along i-5, zoom in a little near that area. (Hybrid terrain mode works best.) I'm a bit south of Myrtle Creek/Tri-City.

[A. Crow]

my back has decided I don't need to be able to stand up straight without outrageous pain.