How would you deal with this work situation?

[Luinbariel]

Looking for some general advice, here, about something at work.

My actual first name is Elizabeth. It's on all my paperwork, on everything I signed at work. It's on my work email, and our internal communicator. However, everyone calls me Liz, because that's what I prefer.
Maybe they ask me once and I say my preference, or they call me Elizabeth the first time and I say the typical oh, please, just call me Liz. And so far literally everyone I have encountered on a regular basis has remembered.

Everyone except my new boss.

He's been my boss for a couple of months now. We've had a few meetings, but aside from that and a few jokes, we don't really have to interact much. He has asked me to my face several times how I prefer to be addressed, and every time I've said Liz. And every goddamned time it seems he forgets. I don't know how; when our seats were moved around mine suddenly had a name tag with Liz on it. It's right there in his face every time. He didn't make the tags, I know that; but still.

Every time he needs my attention for something, he calls me Elizabeth. The last time I accidentally gave him such a look I surprised him (it wasn't intentional, it's just that every time I hear that name it surprises me because literally no one does it). It kind of made him laugh and ask about it, so I told him again, no one calls me that hoping the next time he'd remember. But nope; same thing yesterday.

I'm getting a little rude about it now with him; yesterday he addressed me that way again and I just stared at him until he asked if I had heard him. I said oh yeah, I heard you, and he just carried on like nothing happened. I was hoping it would prompt him to remember the last time, but nope.

It's starting to get insulting. Can't even take the time to remember the name you specifically asked me for, more than once?

How do I address this?

[Dtrain323i]

Honestly, he's probably just got his head up his ass. I doubt he's doing it on purpose. If all else fails, just write it on a post it note and stick it to his forehead 

[CaffeinePowered]

Honestly, he's probably just got his head up his ass. I doubt he's doing it on purpose. If all else fails, just write it on a post it note and stick it to his forehead 

Yea, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.

A part of me says take it to HR if its really a problem after repeated instances...but that could just make things much more sour.

[Luinbariel]

[quote author=Dadtrain323i link=topic=7515.msg285044#msg285044 date=1432652469]
Honestly, he's probably just got his head up his ass. I doubt he's doing it on purpose. If all else fails, just write it on a post it note and stick it to his forehead 

Yea, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.

A part of me says take it to HR if its really a problem after repeated instances...but that could just make things much more sour.
[/quote]

Yeah I imagine that would go very poorly in general.

I don't dislike the guy; he's generally the best manager I've had at this place. He tries to care, which is more than I can ask for at a business like this.

I don't want to rock the boat too hard, just wondering if there's some more subtle way I can get this taken care of.

[Surf314]

[quote author=Caffeine link=topic=7515.msg285045#msg285045 date=1432652670]
[quote author=Dadtrain323i link=topic=7515.msg285044#msg285044 date=1432652469]
Honestly, he's probably just got his head up his ass. I doubt he's doing it on purpose. If all else fails, just write it on a post it note and stick it to his forehead 

Yea, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.

A part of me says take it to HR if its really a problem after repeated instances...but that could just make things much more sour.
[/quote]

Yeah I imagine that would go very poorly in general.

I don't dislike the guy; he's generally the best manager I've had at this place. He tries to care, which is more than I can ask for at a business like this.

I don't want to rock the boat too hard, just wondering if there's some more subtle way I can get this taken care of.
[/quote]

Maybe the best thing to do is just be direct about it.  Just ask for a quick word and say you don't like being called by your full name and its also hard to recognize it because you never hear anyone calling you that.  It would probably be good for him to hear it in a different context so it makes an impression.

[Didzo]

Use the same voice you did when you won TF2 rage night and tell him your name is Liz and that's going to be what he will call you from now on.

Or do what Surf said. That might work better.

[Dr. Zaius]

Is the cha cha slide an option here?

sorry for the shitpost

[Luinbariel]

Use the same voice you did when you won TF2 rage night and tell him your name is Liz and that's going to be what he will call you from now on.

Or do what Surf said. That might work better.

Pretty sure that would earn me some temporary "leave". Almost worth it (not really).


Also NBD Zaius, s'all good.

[Kor]

Ever offer a reason to why you don't like being called Elizabeth?

I deal with the exact same thing: Michael versus Mike. Every time I correct someone, I tell them the reason: Only Grandma Ruby used the name Michael, and she's long past. If your boss is trying to care, put some perspective on your request; it'll immediately appear less arbitrary.  

[Luinbariel]

Ever offer a reason to why you don't like being called Elizabeth?

I deal with the exact same thing: Michael versus Mike. Every time I correct someone, I tell them the reason: Only Grandma Ruby used the name Michael, and she's long past. If your boss is trying to care, put some perspective on your request; it'll immediately appear less arbitrary.  

I did, yes, though it  isn't much of a reason. I just said the only time I'm ever called by my full name was when, as a child, I was in trouble. That's it, nothing serious. The feeling of "oh shit I'm in trouble" seems to hang around with that but it's obviously nothing big I can't deal with.

Looks like I'm going to have to either say something again (which will have to wait 'til I can keep a more civil tongue) or suck it up and deal with it

[The Generic Name]

You should throw mallets at him when he forgets.

[Chief]

[quote author=Dadtrain323i link=topic=7515.msg285044#msg285044 date=1432652469]
Honestly, he's probably just got his head up his ass. I doubt he's doing it on purpose. If all else fails, just write it on a post it note and stick it to his forehead 

Yea, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.

A part of me says take it to HR if its really a problem after repeated instances...but that could just make things much more sour.
[/quote]please do not take this to hr

honestly i agree with generic - do something that makes him remember to NOT call you elizabeth rather than try to remember to call you liz

[Neptune]

"'Jeffrey' sounds like I'm getting yelled at.  I'm just glad you don't know my middle name."

Usually works.  It links it with something negative while still sounding funny.  I say "usually", though.  Most of the girls at work like using my full first name, for some reason.  To be sure: I'm not always getting yelled at.

[rumbot]

I've a different perspective.

Can't even take the time to remember the name you specifically asked me for, more than once? It's starting to get insulting.

It's getting insulting because it is. I've seen this a number of times, and it's discourteous at best and sexist at worst.

His best-case reason is that he knows you only by your payroll name, which is akin to thinking of you only as a number.

As for worst case---two men in my office have a going "joke" where whenever they call one of the women by the other woman's name, they have to put a dollar in a jar. Corporate culture where it's considered acceptable to treat women as interchangeable.

How do I address this?

Well, I don't know how bad you need or want the job, so tailor this accordingly. But I would mock the fuck out of him for this. Prepare name-tags that say "Liz" and, every time he gets it wrong, pull one out of your pocket and affix it to your chest. Or some variant. Make it clear that it's his failure as a leader to know the members of his team.



PS- and also 90% of HR offices are fucking awful tools of the man. They can't be trusted to handle most cut-and-dried transgressions, let alone subtle microagressions.

[Luinbariel]

I definitely wouldn't go so far as to take it to HR, I think. I mean there's nothing they can do about it and it would be a bit of a slap in his face at this point, if he truly is just forgetful.

The funny part is about those name tags... I have a pack of those exact ones in my desk right now. In both blue and red. Looks like I know what I have to do...

[Elder]

send him flowers full of bees

[Luinbariel]

send him flowers full of bees

Watch, he'd be deathly allergic or something (also it's an enclosed space. It would be funny but also there would be bees).

I'm sitting on my hands 'til the next time it happens. I don't interact with him much other than the "how's it going?" unless he needs something done. I'm hoping a good opening presents itself so I don't just attack him with HEY I'M UNHAPPY WITH THIS

or with bees

[FlyingMongoose]

Or ladybugs:
http://rt.com/usa/262213-senior-prank-la...-criminal/

[KarthXLR]

send him a child, watch him slowly lose his sanity and quit his job due to negligence from his lack of sleep.

[Luinbariel]

He's already got one of those, actually.