Be Right Back, Uninstalling

I've been noticing more zombie related stuff than normal, not sure what it is but thought I'd bring a topic up here. So BRBu, I ask you. How well do you think you would fare in a Zombie Apocalypse? So many people (on zee internets) simply blurt out "I would do thing x, and kick ass" but how many of us would really be able to do such things? (Yes, I'm applying logic to an irrelevant subject. Whatever, I'm bored.) We all think we've got our brilliant plans. "Well, I'd go to the nearest <Food Store, Gun Store, Military Base, Police Station, etc> and raid it." How well would such an action really work out? Everyone going to the same place? Your bound to run into some people that are less concerned with morals than you are o.=.o


So yeah... what are your thoughts, what would you do, and how well do you think you'd fare?



Me personally, I don't think I'd do too well simply due to my mental stability. I'd probably end up barricading the house here, but when the infrastructure broke down, power went out, internet went away, etc I'd end up slipping further down that wonderful path to insanity. Not to mention it'd be about a week tops before I ran out of caffeinated beverages and the headaches hit o.=.o

Long story short, I give myself about... Nine days before I break down o.=.O

As for the 'weapon' to the immediate left of me desk, a ceramic mug with 10 Pencils, 2 Mechanical Pencils, 3 Ball-Point Pens, a Toothbrush, my tablet pen, and a pair of Scissors, what about you folks?

The weapon is my computer.




I'm screwed.

my printer

fuck yeah, its fucking heavy too, ill whack the shit out of people

I have a roll of duct tape...

Dead Rising 2 anyone?

a Zombie apocalypse scenario can't happen. That's all.

Probably full of redaction mistakes, it's still hard for me to write long sentences without thinking in the spanish form :<. I suck

We're talking here about mid-class zombies, not Romero's Undeads or L4D runners. These are the classic "infected with a high fever, lose all consciousness and just follow instincts" kind of zombies.

First of all, the infection. I get here's like a pyramid scheme. A Zombie bites a person, the two zombies bite 2 more, the 4 zombies bite 4, etc. But we're on the technological era here. Remember the Cholera infection on Haiti? How they wouldn't even let someone that was on the country leave it? Imagine now that there is a breach of the infection. After around 10 people bitten and acting strangely, it just takes one person with twitter to inform everybody. Or just a call to the cops to have all infected people shot down (or burned, depends on the case) or put in quarantine. They aren't too hard to find, since all they do is walk

Let's keep the idea of the goverment endorsed team. They were called because of 10 cases. Sure, you can say in the time until the got at the scene they would have bitten PEOPLE STUPID ENOUGH TO GET CAUGHT by them. I mean seriously, they aren't freaking ninjas. If you've ever gone to the main city, you already know how to dodge people and be cautious if someone's following, and twitch everytime you feel something on your pants. And now you feel a big person, walking towards you, probably with a blank stare. You're obviously going to dodge it, not walk right into it. And you might say here "hey, i've seen in the movies how everytime the zombies attack from behind", sure, that's on the movies. Here, you'll hear loud steps approaching, you're going to move. or run, or whatever you can.

But okay, some stupid fucks got bitten, the 10 cases now are 30. The cops arrive with some scientist and some members of SWAT (or GOPE, if you're chilean). They have the initial 10, but some other cases have started to rise. What do you do? Remember the zombies walk. If the 10 zombies were messing around on a 200m radious area (which is pretty big, if you consider these zombies walk slower than the average people), you have a circular area of 8kms to search for 20 more, probably more since they've bitten more people, but now that they are here, they'll inform everyone to not let in the weird looking rotting corpse who walks.

Let's look back at the technology area. Zombies are stupid, we know. They aren't like the Trade federation who will block comunications of your little town Naboo. No, they will leave the internet, phone, TV and everything on. Now that the military is on the case, it will not take long until they do 2 things.

1) Inform the media, so everybody with Twitter, telephone or radio will know
2) Just be quiet about it, but grab a freaking megaphone and shout your 8km are to not touch the weirdos (will you are probably not doing already)

If you check your twitter, and everybody is like "OMGZ!!11 ZOBMIES IN TOWN LOL!!1" you'll probably not believe it, but it would just take a check on your local newspapaer website, to confirm it, and even if you're alone at home, i bet you have a long stick to protect yourself JUST IN CASE YOU HAPPEN TO OPEN THE DOOR TO THE SALESMAN WHO WAS SCRATCHING THE DOOR. If you're outside, you'll just fight back the moment this guy tries to bite you. It's not hard to push Zombies, and it's even easier to notice them trying to get your yummy skin.


This scenario is if the infection starts with one person. If there are 2 or more at the same time at different places, just repeat the case.

In the end, the most credible Zombie Apocalypse is Romero's Night of the living dead, one that would only last a night because even townspeople know how to lock their doors or lock on their basements and not be stupid enought to be wandering outside looking for gas.

Oh, and my weapons is a Stapler, i'm fucked

Thanks

nah that was pretty good vongore.

let's see.

besides obvious kitchen knives, um...not that much. i think i have enough food for a week in my apartment. i have some strong duct tape, could make kind of a spear, if dead rising 2 has taught me anything

I have a cane sword, a other sword & a golf club in my room so alittle set & my broinlaw used to do kendo so I think I has a few in my favor but nothing curtain @3@

To the left of me... I have an original rubix cube from 1978 or 79 I got from my grandpa when I was a tyke.

As for a legit weapon, I have a battle ready claymore, and a heart of pure nerd rage. Zombies won't see me comin'...Well, they will, I suppose...As they would probably retain sight, and I am a big enough guy that sneaking isn't much of an option...

As for survival, I live out in the country, and have three potential choices.

A) Distill and boil water by building a fire, and survive for months/years off of our cattle and grown vegetables. Call immediate family and friends at start of disaster to help with food labor, and build a massive fence to surround our property. Make daily patrols a must, and make sure people know how to put the boom end of the gun at zombie temple.

B ) Make way to town, and join up with several people I know for a section by section cleansing of zombies. Just apply all that I learned in "The Zombie Survival book" by Max Brooks, and walk away a winner, and king of town.

C) look for the lead zombie and/or Dracula. I kill him, save the world, and get a nifty MAX HEALTH UP item.

Most odd thing in view to my immediate left?  A user manual for Quickbooks 2000

A wall.



:|

LOL.  There is a purple plastic cup sitting directly to the side of my GF's laptop. 

I don't worry about access to weapons anymore, because in any scenario, my unit will be activated and I'll have a surplus of weapons and ammunition.  Granted I'll have to try to sort the mess out and protect you tasty bastards... words to the wise, don't bitch at my men while we're trying to screen you for infection for the safe zone we establish, just take your clothes off and wait for the hose. 

There's nothing to my left...




I'm fucked.

Uhm, a moderately sized printer.

Oh sweet, I got a dragon! This is gunna be easy.

(11-30-2010, 07:25 AM)backfire link Wrote: [ -> ]

Oh sweet, I got a dragon! This is gunna be easy.

that was my first thought.

then i realized it was just a red tape measure :/

(11-30-2010, 07:25 AM)backfire link Wrote: [ -> ]

Oh sweet, I got a dragon! This is gunna be easy.

You've played L4D with me backfire, you sure that's such a good idea? I mean, I know how to make molotovs o.=.o And Nick's got The Patriot's Cook-Book, the home edtion o.=.o

Strictly speaking, you could wait the zombies out, 28 days later style, since they will all starve/decay at some point.

Long term continuous infection, best bet is an island and a sailboat, with enough crops and supplies to do subsistence farming

I would either do very well or very poorly.

Very well scenario: I have the farm I could easily get to and many weapons as well as resources there. We aren't really in a very high traffic area, the water table is high and naturally filtered, and we've been through no power in the cold out there before. Tractors, a huge double tank on the farm full of enough gas to last at least one year of continual use... not a bad deal. Oh yes, and hundreds of cattle to eat.

Very bad scenario: I shoot myself in the face. I have no desire to watch the world simply fall apart, to become a zombie, or to become the many other number of things that a survivor can become in a horrible situation such as that might be. If I lose Kyle, and my family, I have no doubt that I will try for a little while to escape but will shoot myself in the face as quickly as I can.

(11-30-2010, 06:15 AM)LT Crow link Wrote: [ -> ]just take your clothes off and wait for the hose. 

#8 on Crow's list of pickup lines.

Let's see. If we break it down into two scenarios, I have different plans.

First, if we're going by the "realistic" zombie scenario in which the zombies will putrefy after ~1 month, I actually have enough food in my room to survive (not comfortably, but would definitely survive). I don't fancy the idea of crapping in the corner or out the window for a month, but for my safety it'd be feasible. More realistically, I'd grab an improvised weapon (looking around the room, I see a nightstand, chair, alarm clock, and a 360 I never use, all of those are heavy enough) and check the immediately nearby rooms, as I want to get as much manpower as possible. If few enough people are infected in my dormitory, I'd try to organize a task force to barricade the entrances and exits. Our objective would be just to wait out the month, so we just need to procure enough provisions for however many people are alive, so we'd inevitably have to make runs on supermarkets, other dining halls, or at the very least all the rooms in our building to scavenge for food. Blegh.

If we're talking the world's zombie apocalypse, as in no ever going back and the zombie are here to stay, I need a more permanent solution. I'd be better off working in a small enough group that we could all get around using a single vehicle. Grab provisions, grab gasoline, grab weapons, and head to a warmer climate and learn to farm. Also blegh.


EDIT: Let's make an alteration to this scheme. What weapons would you guys use to defend yourselves in a zombie apocalypse? Say you have access to a police or military armory and can take whatever you can carry.

I'd want something for distance fighting and something for close encounters. For the former, probably a civilian-issue AR15 or a simple hunting rifle. The more pedestrian the weapon, I figure the more plentiful ammo will be. For the latter, a shotgun would be great, but I think the kick would be kind of great for me, and the size (unless I saw the barrel short) wouldn't be conducive to the close encounters I'd be expecting. Perhaps an MP5K; 9x19mm Para shouldn't be that hard to find....right? I'd also grab a hatchet to hack off limbs if I get bitten.