I was walking down an alley, just returning from a long day of lovemaking at work, worn out, and worn down. My surroundings were a blur to me...that seems to happen when you're in a hurry...and when you've been under the effect of Mr. Jack Daniels' influence since noon. The only feature that stuck out to me was the last bit of the evening sun crawling alongside the top of the building next to me and casting a reddish pallor and the wall to my left, the only source of light around, and disappearing at a steady pace.
Disappearing.
My sense of self preservation, which had been fighting a losing battle all day against Mr. Daniels up until this point finally got a message through to me: "This is not where you want to be when that god damned sun calls it a day." I started to hurry up my walk, challenging the light on the walls, but already I noticed four shadows springing into action. They were coming to fix the race. I didn't run. If I ran then they would run. I kept walking, briskly but calmly, saving my energy for when I needed it. Taking deep breaths but with my mind racing, I tried to think of something I could do. I'd outsmarted street thugs before, I could do it again.
**Bip** **Bip** **Bip** Â Â Â Â Â **Bip** **Bip** **Bip**
At first I thought this was the sound of my Pacemaker giving in. "Shitty piece of crap," I thought to myself, they just don't make ones tough enough for my line of work. I stopped, ready for my heart to fail, for the thugs to be given what was quite possibly the easiest thirteen dollars in change that they had ever made in their life. But it didn't happen. The alcohol and the four strangers behind me had made me think the worst. The noise was coming from my pocket, my cell phone. I resumed walking, delved into my trousers and flipped out the phone. It was a text message.
"Don't take the alley back. The Polish Hand Grenade called, he said The Dubai Boys are out tonight. -Roomann"
I had stopped walking again, only five steps away from where I thought I was going to drop dead earlier, only to feel as though I was going to drop dead again. The Dubai Boys were out. Sanskrit, Baha'ullah, Abdul, and Guadalajara were fucking out tonight, in the alley. 40 steps behind me...39...38...37...36 steps out.
The Dubai Boys were the worst thing to happen to this part of town. A bunch of Arab twats who tried to come to America and become hard asses some ten years back...and had succeeded. Ever since then they had mostly run their enterprise from behind armies of darkies, who signed up to do whatever they asked in hopes of rising the ranks. But tonight they were out to have some fun themselves. Sanskrit, Baha'ullah, and Abdul...the beasts of the Middle East...and Guadalajara...well he wasn't from there...no, he was from Mexico. But that didn't matter all that much. If you had brown skin and were willing to cut someone, The Dubai Boys would cut you a check. And as I looked over my shoulder, and saw his fierce brown eyes reflecting the final ray of red sunlight, I knew he was still willing to cut someone.
28 steps out...what do I do...?
I'd stop celebrating 4/20 for a few years.
(04-20-2011, 02:24 PM)Karth link Wrote: [ -> ]I'd stop celebrating 4/20 for a few years.
I don't smoke asshole. Drinking is my vice, not my only one but my preferred one. Maybe you can contribute after you grow some pubic hairs and have some life experiences. Kids like you still probably think that "Spiderman"-ing chicks in the face is hilarious, not that you've ever had the opportunity.
My life is in danger. I can't waste time on punks like you.
Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
(04-20-2011, 03:25 PM)Ensign Epic link Wrote: [ -> ]Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
he typed this out on a phone while it's happening to him
well first, text roomann and be like "fuck u asshole!!" that'll probably put you at like 16 steps.
do you have any of the dubai boys on your contacts?
(04-20-2011, 03:34 PM)Versus-pwny- link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Ensign Epic link=topic=5582.msg203648#msg203648 date=1303331106]
Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
he typed this out on a phone while it's happening to him
[/quote]
/r/askreddit/
Dear Reddit,
My house is on fire, but my room is safe for now, internet still working, what should I do?
(04-20-2011, 04:15 PM)Caffeine link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Versus-pwny- link=topic=5582.msg203650#msg203650 date=1303331655]
[quote author=Ensign Epic link=topic=5582.msg203648#msg203648 date=1303331106]
Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
he typed this out on a phone while it's happening to him
[/quote]
/r/askreddit/
Dear Reddit,
My house is on fire, but my room is safe for now, internet still working, what should I do?
[/quote]
Log into WoW and ask guildies.
(04-20-2011, 03:25 PM)Ensign Epic link Wrote: [ -> ]Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
...and as I looked over my shoulder, and saw his fierce brown eyes reflecting the final ray of red sunlight, I knew he was still willing to cut someone.
And that was how my sense of self preservation got it's second wind. The crazy mother fucker knocked out Jack Daniels like Jack Dempsey. My head hadn't been this clear since the methadone clinic, and my heart hadn't beat this fast since my ex-wife left me...ironically, the situation with my ex-wife was the only other time I had been this close to getting stabbed in the back. Only she had been substantially closer than 28 steps out. Back THEN is when I had really needed the clear head...
But right now...I needed somewhere safe, or rather somewhere safer than here. There were no "safe" places in this city, but in this alley, on their turf, The Dubai Boys could do anything they wanted. Chances are it was going to be something that I didn't want them to do, like stab me, or sing Lady Gaga, or make me go to a mosque. Or all three. No way in hell I was going to listen to some foreign pricks sing me fucking "Poker Face," no way I was going to let them fucking kill me while singing god damned A Capella praising Allah. Not without a chase. Not without a fight.
I turned my back to the setting sun, lit a cigarette and set my eyes to the east...the far east. The Japs owned that sector of town, and the border was only two city blocks from here. If I couldn't be safe for myself, at least I could make it more dangerous for everybody else. The Yakuza didn't like it when somebody else spilled blood on their turf, and quite frankly, The Dubai Boys didn't like being reminded that they didn't own the entire city.
A plan formed in my head..it was the best one I'd had yet, but that was because it was the only one. The Boys were 22 steps out...and I thought it was time to make those numbers rise a bit.
Call "The Polish Hand Grenade"
(04-20-2011, 04:15 PM)Kirby, the Spyro link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Caffeine link=topic=5582.msg203658#msg203658 date=1303334104]
[quote author=Versus-pwny- link=topic=5582.msg203650#msg203650 date=1303331655]
[quote author=Ensign Epic link=topic=5582.msg203648#msg203648 date=1303331106]
Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
he typed this out on a phone while it's happening to him
[/quote]
/r/askreddit/
Dear Reddit,
My house is on fire, but my room is safe for now, internet still working, what should I do?
[/quote]
Log into WoW and ask guildies.
[/quote]
I don't have time to play video games like "WOW", or make sarcastic comments trying to prove how cool I am to the rest of the mentally challenged delinquents I keep as friends. I'll leave that up to you.
(04-20-2011, 05:20 PM)Dr.CountrY link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Kirby, the Spyro link=topic=5582.msg203659#msg203659 date=1303334147]
[quote author=Caffeine link=topic=5582.msg203658#msg203658 date=1303334104]
[quote author=Versus-pwny- link=topic=5582.msg203650#msg203650 date=1303331655]
[quote author=Ensign Epic link=topic=5582.msg203648#msg203648 date=1303331106]
Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
he typed this out on a phone while it's happening to him
[/quote]
/r/askreddit/
Dear Reddit,
My house is on fire, but my room is safe for now, internet still working, what should I do?
[/quote]
Log into WoW and ask guildies.
[/quote]
I don't have time to play video games like "WOW", or make sarcastic comments trying to prove how cool I am to the rest of the mentally challenged delinquents I keep as friends. I'll leave that up to you.
[/quote]
I see what you're trying to do here Countryyyyy, so for that I thank you.
Unfortunately trying to create content where input is required between forum members to create a collaborative story is a hard thing to do since this communities common sense has degraded to the lowest common denominator. Unless you're writing about something that appeals to a more basic emotion (Anger, Lust, Greed) there wont be that many people able to make a worthwhile contribution. Instead of respectfully understanding and keeping silent, they feel insecure about their lack of understanding and want to troll the topic down to their level.
Thank you for trying again, im sure Goffin and Ensign would like you to continue, and you may be able to get some of our higher brow members onboard with this idea (Rumsfald , Atom, Hek, Kor etc)
(04-21-2011, 09:19 AM)Vandamguy link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Dr.CountrY link=topic=5582.msg203670#msg203670 date=1303338010]
[quote author=Kirby, the Spyro link=topic=5582.msg203659#msg203659 date=1303334147]
[quote author=Caffeine link=topic=5582.msg203658#msg203658 date=1303334104]
[quote author=Versus-pwny- link=topic=5582.msg203650#msg203650 date=1303331655]
[quote author=Ensign Epic link=topic=5582.msg203648#msg203648 date=1303331106]
Not sure if this is creative writing or not. If so, this is great piece, really creates tension well, etc.
If not, you're fucked man. Run. Just run, and do not look back, towards the most well-lit area with people.
he typed this out on a phone while it's happening to him
[/quote]
/r/askreddit/
Dear Reddit,
My house is on fire, but my room is safe for now, internet still working, what should I do?
[/quote]
Log into WoW and ask guildies.
[/quote]
I don't have time to play video games like "WOW", or make sarcastic comments trying to prove how cool I am to the rest of the mentally challenged delinquents I keep as friends. I'll leave that up to you.
[/quote]
I see what you're trying to do here Countryyyyy, so for that I thank you.
Unfortunately trying to create content where input is required between forum members to create a collaborative story is a hard thing to do since this communities common sense has degraded to the lowest common denominator. Unless you're writing about something that appeals to a more basic emotion (Anger, Lust, Greed) there wont be that many people able to make a worthwhile contribution. Instead of respectfully understanding and keeping silent, they feel insecure about their lack of understanding and want to troll the topic down to their level.
Thank you for trying again, im sure Goffin and Ensign would like you to continue, and you may be able to get some of our higher brow members onboard with this idea (Rumsfald , Atom, Hek, Kor etc)
[/quote]
agreed. I wish I had the writing skills to do it.
I'm 35 years old and enjoyed every minute of his readings. I myself could never write like that so i get fascinated easily. Especially if it's a good read which I thought it was.Â
Props !
Our scribe is not feeling well and must rest before continuing the retelling of his story. He was scribing all night and simply doesn't have the energy to continue, judging by the faces he's making.
hopefully he's calling the fucking polish hand grenade
Quote:Thank you for trying again, im sure Goffin and Ensign would like you to continue, and you may be able to get some of our higher brow members onboard with this idea (Rumsfald , Atom, Hek, Kor etc)
brb... starting Highbrow-Only section of site.