09-09-2008, 03:04 AM
Like most aspiring mod-makers, I'm much better with Photoshop than with programs that can actually be used to accomplish anything besides producing textures. That doesn't stop me from making up loads of crap ideas and accompanying visual aids, though.
lol aids
Anyway.
-*- FORUM-WIDE PILE OF SPARKLING CRAP -*-
Since I kept talking about this shit mid-game and that's really not the time for it. Maybe if I get the hang of... Hammer, and things that do stuff, I could pull some of this off. That's a ways away though and I kind of fail at coding but I don't have anything better to do with my non-gaming time so yeah. You guys, you add stuff too. And tear everyone else's ideas down like a master bastard. It'll be great.
MY GARBAGE:
- PYROVERHAUL
1. PYRO FUEL TANK - Pyro gets a second health meter, one for himself, one for his tank of delicious fuels. The tank is understandably much less durable than the Pyro. If the tank's health nears zero, it ignites and starts to slowly tick away what's left of it's health, perhaps lighting him or everything nearby on fire or sending him rocketing around uncontrollably. He then has a couple seconds to discard the tank via right-click or else it will explode when the tank health reaches zero. (If it's not taken straight to zero by getting shot, which can also happen. Yay for exploding Pyros as a sniper.) Discarding the tank causes him to chuck it a short distance, hopefully to safety. Picking up ammo repairs (or replaces) the tank. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?" It'd be funny, it'd make playing the Pyro a bit more challenging, and most importantly, Jihad Spies.
2. WET FLAMETHROWER, DRY FLAMETHROWER - Let the Pyro choose between a Super Soaker filled with napalm or what amounts to a giant blowtorch. The wet (napalm) flamethrower shoots a jet of liquid fuel that ignites things. The range is improved, and you get to light stuff up, but the down side? No ridiculous fucking damage at close range. The amount of fuel you dump on someone determines how much damage they'll take, and they'll take it much more steadily. A plus, though? Indirect, arcing fire with streams of fuel, leaving patches of damaging fire on the ground, and a secondary fire mode that pressurizes a glob of fuel and launches it all far like. (LIKE WE HAVEN'T SEEN THAT BEFORE LOL SHUT UP MIND STOP MAKING FUN OF ME.) The dry one? A lower damage, shorter duration ignite, coupled with shorter range sounds shitty, but it'd keep the stupid high damage the flamethrower already has. Secondary fire starts as the standard compression blast, but charges to release a much more damaging, wave-of-fire explosion. (lol fuel air bomb)
3. WET-DRY VAC PART 2 + 1 - Different fuels, different tank explosion effects? The wet fuel might just start pouring onto the ground, leaving a trail or a massive patch of fire, while the dry fuel causes the Pyro to rocket away. Chucking the ignited dry fuel tank could cause it to spin around through the air or on the ground, too.
4. THE STUPIDEST IDEA EVER, NOW IN MSPAINT FORM -
- MEDICK 8=+=>
1. STREET PHARMACIST - Give the Medic a stimulant injector that he can use on team-mates to increase their speed for a short time. Then we can all see what the Scout's like when he's high. (Hint: It probably sucks, maybe he should burn through his shots quicker.)
2. NO SERIOUSLY A GONORRHEA LAUNCHER - It'd be amusing, if extremely annoying, if all those needles shot out of the needle gun stuck around for a while, letting other players get stuck with them instead. That, or you could just drop a rusty syringe in an inconspicuous location that gives enemy players lockjaw. Like, you step on it, and then it's like OH SHIT YOU GOT THE CLAP and then you're all like MEDIC but there's no medics on your team so you're like FUCKING SHIT IT BURNS WHEN I PEE AND NOW I HAVE TO RUN BACK TO SPAWN GOD DAMN and then THE CLAP WAS THE SPY ALL ALONG
3. TACTICAL CHUNDERING - Ipecac Grenade or some kind of Puke Beam. Everyone in range will start to puke occasionally, resulting in hilarity and the inability to fight for a moment.
- MAGETS
1. WHAT THE FUCK - Why are rockets so goddamned slow? They should be slow just after leaving the launcher, but increase speed as they travel until being bullet-fast. There's no good reason a rocket should take three seconds to cross the divide in 2fort.
2. SERIOUSLY - I haven't noticed this myself, but it'd explain a lot; do rockets seriously get weaker at range? What the fuck. No.
3. SO MANY SHOTGUNS - Give him a Thompson or a grease gun, fuck.
4. FAILURE TO LAUNCH - There should be an achievement for killing yourself while trying to rocket-jump.
5. JARHEAD - The helmet does nothing. Why. It should protect the soldier's brainmeats. Those are important. Optional mod to replace the Soldier's head with a sprite of one of those black-shelled things from Mario 1 and Mario 3. You know, the ones that you can't hit with the fire flower. Those fuckers. Fuck those guys.
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I'll probably post more later. Nobody will enjoy reading it. Nobody.