Superheroes that should not be allowed to have sex

[Surf314]

Some of these make no sense, how is there any possible danger in any of the following having sex:

Ant Man - I meant to put all similar but I can see a problem with getting very big or being small for some personal time and then getting big on accident
Colossus - Chaffing?  Or going chrome at the wrong moment.
Deadman - Are all his bits properly attached?  Also it's necrophilia
Fantastic/Elongated Man/Etc - I'm just looking out for women's chastity...they could bone a women at 100 paces.  Wouldn't even need to be in the same room to rape.
Hellboy - I'm just thinking he might be a bit too large.
Night Crawler - He's probably more of a danger of being a tease.  Poof he's gone oh wait he's back.
Silver Surfer - I don't even think he has one I just put it on here for xenophobia because it was inspired by prop 2, 8
The Tick - Just trying to figure out what he would start sucking on if he decided to live up to his name
Wolverine - Pray he is not a back scratcher

Who are the other size changers?  I forget.  Also part of the assumption is they'd lose control of their powers in the moment.

[cannedpeahes]

[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1713.msg47934#msg47934 date=1225933626]
I assumed everyone here would think that chicks should have sex no matter what potential unpleasantness.

That, and there really aren't any that would be dangerous to fuck, other than rogue.
[/quote]

I wouldn't risk getting Storm off. Things could get dangerous.

Also, I'm wondering about Ghost Rider now. After all, there could be more than one head that bursts into flames.

[ScottyGrayskull]

I'm going to say the Hulk, even though he isn't on the list. I mean think about it... what woman would want Bruce Banner inside her when he Hulks up? It could make for a big mess. :S

Would link to epic comic about it but 30 seconds of searching didn't find it, so I gave up.

[Surf314]

I'm going to say the Hulk, even though he isn't on the list. I mean think about it... what woman would want Bruce Banner inside her when he Hulks up? It could make for a big mess. :S

Would link to epic comic about it but 30 seconds of searching didn't find it, so I gave up.

Damn I missed an obvious one.

[rumsfald]

Surf, your overly male-focus aside, this is an otherwise excellent topic. However, I am very disappointed in the lack of creative thinking and / or pervertedness of the responses so far. Vandam, Budr, Caff, Kor, Luca, I am looking in your direction.

I thought there was a time that Colossus could not control his transformations? Plus, when he transforms he seems to get taller/larger.

I would be scared as to where Nightcrawler would stick that arrowhead of a tail.

Depends what you are doing with Silver Surfer.  Sure, he doesn't have a visible dong, but the power cosmic can be scary. Also, if you are pitching and he is catching, that silver arse would likely hurt.

Wolverine likes to rage, I would not to be in the same room let alone up against an angry wolverine orgasm. Plus, his sense of smell could be creepy. But most of all, his hairiness is by far the biggest turnoff. See also: Beast, Sabertooth.

Don't tell me that if you had fantastic man's powers that you wouldn't add an extra 1/2 inch with every thrust. Then, imagine being on the receiving end.

Do you have piercings? Tooth fillings? Would you be worried about Magneto?

Juggernaut. don't rub his helmet. nuff said.

Do you want any of the psychic's (mr. x, jean grey, psylocke) knowing for sure that you are fantasizing about someone else?

Anyone who has ever tried to fuck on a beach would be scared of the Sandman.

Also, I heard a rumor that Luin wanted to use a Widget in all the right places.

[Surf314]

If you have sex with Mystique as a guy does that make you gay?

[Blues]

If you have sex with Mystique as a guy does that make you gay?

As per old canon, Mystique was actually Rogue's father.

You tell me.

[Surf314]

[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1713.msg48418#msg48418 date=1226084892]
If you have sex with Mystique as a guy does that make you gay?

As per old canon, Mystique was actually Rogue's father.

You tell me.
[/quote]

Did not know this.  This brings up all sorts of interesting questions.

[jorge]

If you have sex with Mystique as a guy does that make you gay?

It most certainly does.

[Vandamguy]

i think it'd be great to have r
sleep with a diff chick every night , but its the same person , so you stay monogamous

[Eschatos]

I think you'd be safe fucking the vast majority of the mentioned superheroes/villains unless they're pissed with you.  If that happens, you can expect an extremely painful death/castration/rape/whatever.

[Surf314]

Ok since some thought this was sexist let's move to the chicks.  I thing Rogue would be pretty bad unless you can find a body condom.

[rumsfald]

Ok since some thought this was sexist let's move to the chicks.  I thing Rogue would be pretty bad unless you can find a body condom.

To be clear, I didn't think this list was sexist. I implied that by selecting a LONG LIST OF MUSCULAR DUDES TO IMAGINE HAVING SEX WITH, that you were a closet homosexual.

Now, for the chicks, I return to Spiral.



In the Mojoverse, tentacle chicks rape YOU.

[Dave]

why would u need that many arms?

[Surf314]

[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1713.msg52813#msg52813 date=1228322812]
Ok since some thought this was sexist let's move to the chicks.  I thing Rogue would be pretty bad unless you can find a body condom.

To be clear, I didn't think this list was sexist. I implied that by selecting a LONG LIST OF MUSCULAR DUDES TO IMAGINE HAVING SEX WITH, that you were a closet homosexual.
[/quote]

Maybe you were doing caff skim reading but the original intention of the article was to ban superhero sex to protect our marriages and womens ala prop 8.  I don't want to ban women from potentially having sex with me.  That's exclusionary and I will not tolerate that here!

[rumsfald]

Maybe you were doing caff skim reading but the original intention of the article was to ban superhero sex to protect our marriages and womens ala prop 8. 

That is a nice caff snipe, I approve of that, but the topic of your poll was "Which of the following superheroes should not be allowed to do it to prevent injury or major catastrophe" and you listed
0 women
21 dudes, including Vibrating Lad and Bananaman.

Vibrating Lad and Bananaman?