Be Right Back, Uninstalling

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rumsfald

(11-27-2010, 05:18 PM)Karth link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=HeK link=topic=2632.msg185118#msg185118 date=1290894111]
I have no idea where to put this...


http://www.bitoffun.com/video_vault/call...usher.html
Those judges looked terrified.


Gayest black man ever.
[/quote]

When you don't see a lot of gay black men, it becomes fairly easy to pick out one as the "gayest ever."
(11-27-2010, 05:26 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Karth link=topic=2632.msg185125#msg185125 date=1290896296]
[quote author=HeK link=topic=2632.msg185118#msg185118 date=1290894111]
I have no idea where to put this...


http://www.bitoffun.com/video_vault/call...usher.html
Those judges looked terrified.


Gayest black man ever.
[/quote]

When you don't see a lot of gay black men, it becomes fairly easy to pick out one as the "gayest ever."
[/quote]

Or until you come across 'Miss J'.
Anyone buy the pack with warlord in it that wants to play? Game kinda rapes.
(11-27-2010, 10:54 PM)Surf314 link Wrote: [ -> ]Anyone buy the pack with warlord in it that wants to play? Game kinda rapes.

WARLORD LAN GOGOGO. 

But srsly yes.
I played some more last night and I may need to bump the difficulty because I found some strategies that seem to work really well.
Warlord party in mumble
Damn, Super Meat Boy doesn't unlock for another 12 hours. Maybe that's a good thing, since I really need to get some sleep.

rumsfald

dear brbu,

I hope you are well. I know we haven't talked for a bit, you know, back and forth like. As we promised, I'm trying to not be self conscious about it. A good part of me is worried that you've become sick of my guy locker room talk.  If so, I'm sorry for that.  

So, anyways, here's a bit more of rant. I kinda like the voice of a others who are friends and not a romantic prospects, which is why I'm sharing. You're really the best at that for me, always have been.

So, here it is, Rummy confronts Nega-Rummy. 

Had another date (3) with Wilco Wine girl tonight. Another very fun dinner. 

She's sweet. Easy to talk to. Funny. Smart. Does design, teaches on the side. We love the same snobby food. She's a wine snob. Very pretty, genuine smile. Kisses as soft and as natural as I've had. She's had a similar upbringing. Became an atheist. 

We've got tickets to see Jeff Tweedy next week, in DC. She actually started messaging me cuz my profile mentions Wilco. She knows guys who work for record labels and design posters for several of my favorite bands.

After the show, we're staying in a bed and breakfast. She's made no secret that magic will happen that night.

I told her tonight about my marital past and situation. She explained she was fatalistic about marriage. Basically doesn't think that most guys and girls can stay married. Told many stories of her friends who couldn't. She's ok with that. She's also four years younger. Wink. 

She talked of getting beers on the train ride down to DC. What could be wrong? 

I'm apprehensive. Why?

I still think, for all my recent male-it-tude, that deep down I'm a romantic at heart. I want to believe in a committed, romantic, lasting relationship. I'm getting a vibe that she may just be a little to cynical for me, a little too hard to reach emotionally. Call me a fag (or a furry), but that's a turn off for me. I want to feel special, not like just a hunk of meat. I don't want to lose that naïveté in my soul.

This has nothing to do with any loyalty to my ex. There's no feeling there.

It probably has a bit to do with this other girl I've been e-mailing, the nerdy librarian. She's made it clear she is very into me. She thrills me intellectually, even though I suspect several potential incompatibilities (vegan, doesn't drink, observing non fundychristian). Still, she seems more pure and nice and potentially loyal.

The questions that vex me:
- am I going to regret banging her silly next week
- am I going to regret not banging her more
- am I so wounded that I need the enthusiastic interest of a girl, that it matters
- is Wilco wine just playing aloof cause she's been hurt before
- will I feel worse from guilt if I bang her, then later choose the librarian girl

Yep, I know what some of you will say. I've been steeped in monogamy too long.

I also know the likely course events will take. The tickets are bought, the room is paid for. We are going. We will drink. We will make out. The real question is, when chips are down, whether I stop.

I probably won't stop. All things being equal, this is more about my baggage than hers. But, that doesn't stop me, here, from being self-reflective. From wondering aloud. It's not wrong to worry about these things, or to talk about them. Even if it is with a bunch of NERDS.

Thanks for listening,
The reluctant rummy
:-*
(11-30-2010, 09:50 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ]Soul Bared Freely

Another perspective Rummy, reflecting on your self-reflection.

I'm reading about a man who questions the merit of the reward to the risk taken. Not all can be accounted for, nor should it. Likewise can be said about your expectations of this woman, and what you believe to be missing. I read about 2 women; One that has desirable traits upon traits, less one. The other, with one trait, plus many detractors. I perceive you wanting to know now what may come later, and that is unfair to a heart as gentle as yours; if you still believe that must have something that is transcendent and timeless, then you are willingly avoiding the greatest aspect of love. You must cherish the thrill Rummy, because if it does progress further with her, it grants you the energy and drive to forge something greater than anything you ever had.

As for your one point of requiring the affections of a woman for self-validation... That's a delusion. From personal experience, I know I just... feel more vibrant, and radiate energy, charisma, confidence when with a partner. I'd like point out personal growth you've shared with us since this all began; how can that possibly be a negative? Even more so, how can all that growth be negated by wanting to share and experience life with another? Dispel such doubts. We live to be social, its a primal instinct.

I'm a romantic myself, and I understand the heart of your apprehension, Rummy. It's very cliche, but you must love like you've never been hurt. To do anything less is the ultimate disservice to yourself, your partner; there's nothing there but a spiral, ending in bitterness, spite, jealousy.

Live, laugh, and never doubt your heart Rummy. Verily, it's brought you this far, and your soul still sings.


(11-30-2010, 09:50 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ]The questions that vex me:
- am I going to regret banging her silly next week 

Unless you catch something, I seriously doubt it.

(11-30-2010, 09:50 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ]The questions that vex me:
- am I going to regret not banging her more 

You will.

(11-30-2010, 09:50 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ]The questions that vex me:
- am I so wounded that I need the enthusiastic interest of a girl, that it matters

Probably.

(11-30-2010, 09:50 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ]The questions that vex me:
- is Wilco wine just playing aloof cause she's been hurt before 

Probably.

(11-30-2010, 09:50 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ]The questions that vex me:
- will I feel worse from guilt if I bang her, then later choose the librarian girl

Doesn't sound like it- You're armed with pretty heft rationalization abilities. 


Go have fun, you can only be a raging manwhore for so long before it starts to sicken you, or you lose your soul.  But yeah, if she's dedicated to non-commitment, you should enjoy your time together and move on before things turn. 
(11-30-2010, 10:36 PM)Kor link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=rumsfald link=topic=2632.msg185565#msg185565 date=1291171856]
Soul Bared Freely
Another perspective presented.
[/quote]

Damn guys, you go all out in your posts. It's awesome to see actual deep conversation being presented forth in this manner. Not that I'm gonna do it, as it totally doesn't fit my style, you see.

But I will say something regarding this part:

Quote:I still think, for all my recent male-it-tude, that deep down I'm a romantic at heart. I want to believe in a committed, romantic, lasting relationship. I'm getting a vibe that she may just be a little to cynical for me, a little too hard to reach emotionally. Call me a fag (or a furry), but that's a turn off for me. I want to feel special, not like just a hunk of meat. I don't want to lose that naïveté in my soul.

Even if she's cynical, people can change for the better. Just show that you are devoted to her, and keep doing little acts of kindness. Make her feel special, and she'll make you feel special.

That's it. I'm done with the sappy nice-nice stuff. Go out and get 'em tiger!  Big Grin
Cynicism is an excellent cover for one's own fear and an even better defense mechanism against whatever is out there. Try her, maybe that's more than most people do when faced with that cynical nature.
Kor and Rummy should hook up.
(11-30-2010, 11:42 PM)Didzo link Wrote: [ -> ]Kor and Rummy should hook up.

They would make an ideal bromance, I will agree.
Quote: Merc link=topic=2632.msg185600#msg185600 date=1291178697]
[quote author=Didzo link=topic=2632.msg185597#msg185597 date=1291178535]
Kor and Rummy should hook up.

They would make an ideal bromance, I will agree.
[/quote]

Thanks fellas, baring a passport and cash to toss around, I'd love to have the opportunity to make wildly inappropriate remarks around Rummy.
(11-30-2010, 11:57 PM)Kor link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=[SiN] Merc link=topic=2632.msg185600#msg185600 date=1291178697]
[quote author=Didzo link=topic=2632.msg185597#msg185597 date=1291178535]
Kor and Rummy should hook up.

They would make an ideal bromance, I will agree.
[/quote]

Thanks fellas, baring a passport and cash to toss around, I'd love to have the opportunity to make wildly inappropriate remarks around Rummy.
[/quote]I'd be willing to pick up the bar tab just to watch that happen
HeK... Love your avatar.
(12-01-2010, 12:06 AM)3clipse link Wrote: [ -> ]HeK... Love your avatar.

Way to kill the moment.

But srsly Rummy, go for it.
(12-01-2010, 12:06 AM)3clipse link Wrote: [ -> ]HeK... Love your avatar.

Lol, most people don't noticed that it's animated.
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