I don't really feel as if I can't comprehend it; I absolutely understand violence and death, and I assume it as a fact of life. I suppose it's the latter. I don't identify anything with the people as I don't know any of them. It's not that I really don't care, but ultimately their life or death is insignificant towards my life.
Sometimes I feel like my aloneness causes me to be cold. I cried the night that my mother died and then I moved on. That one moment was the only bit of sorrow I had towards her death. After all, what good does sorrow do? There's nothing that I can do to change what happened. I don't really get excited about much anymore either.
I suppose you're right that I identify with the characters. I truly worry about spending the rest of my life not having someone to care for and I spend so much of my effort to try to convince myself that I am alright being alone. I know that this fear is irrational, but I can't help needing to smother it.
(04-17-2013, 12:22 AM)zaneyard link Wrote: [ -> ]I don't really feel as if I can't comprehend it; I absolutely understand violence and death, and I assume it as a fact of life. I suppose it's the latter. I don't identify anything with the people as I don't know any of them. It's not that I really don't care, but ultimately their life or death is insignificant towards my life.
Sometimes I feel like my aloneness causes me to be cold. I cried the night that my mother died and then I moved on. That one moment was the only bit of sorrow I had towards her death. After all, what good does sorrow do? There's nothing that I can do to change what happened. I don't really get excited about much anymore either.
I suppose you're right that I identify with the characters. I truly worry about spending the rest of my life not having someone to care for and I spend so much of my effort to try to convince myself that I am alright being alone. I know that this fear is irrational, but I can't help needing to smother it.
That sounds kind of like how I handled the Virgina Tech shooting. I was in college at the time at another Virginia university and I could feel the despair in the air around campus the day it happened before I even knew about it. I even had friends from high school that went there. Yet for some reason I didn't have same reaction as a lot of others around me. Sure I was concerned and I could say it was a horrible event, but I didn't seem to have the emotional attachment other people did.
Both of my grandfathers have passed away in the last six years and while I loved both and had fond memories of spending time with them, I didn't cry during either of the funerals. I was sad sure, and seeing all of my relatives and even my big tough dad crying and emotional was hard, but it was more that I felt bad for them than at the loss of my grandfathers.
I have come to the conclusion that this is just how I handle grief. I don't let myself get weighed down. I try to be there to help and support people in the aftermath. I do what I can to help them along and cheer them up. Just because I don't react the same way as other people doesn't mean something is wrong with me.
It helps me to hear that other people approach and handle similar situations as I do. Thanks.
As for my lack of joy and worries of loneliness, I suppose that's something I'll have to work out a bit by myself. I guess it couldn't hurt to be more sociable, but the city isn't exactly alive when I have my free time. I work mostly by myself, and any co-workers I do talk with occasionally are all Hmong and I can't understand a damn thing they say. All my current friends actually sleeping at night.
I know that my focus when I go to uni should be on my academics, but I can't help but think it will be extremely easy to socialize while I'm there. The fact that I'll actually be around any sort of peer can only help.
I can recognize the pain that people are going through right now and I can empathize with that. However, it doesn't directly affect me. I'm more concerned about what legislation will come out of this since that WILL directly affect me. Most likely negatively.
(04-16-2013, 10:09 PM)zaneyard link Wrote: [ -> ]Is it abnormal to be completely desensitized to the recent happenings at the boston marathon
(04-17-2013, 09:33 AM)Evil Cheese link Wrote: [ -> ]Sure I was concerned and I could say it was a horrible event, but I didn't seem to have the emotional attachment other people did.
There's a large difference between "completely desensitized" and understanding/concern/empathy. Just as some people say "leg muscles" and others say "quads, glutes, calves", some people have a more highly developed vocabulary for their emotions. I suggest that it's good for everyone to cultivate an appreciation for the ranges of human emotion, or, as it is called, our common condition.
(04-16-2013, 10:53 PM)versus link Wrote: [ -> ]emotionally, it's no different than another random bombing across the world to me
Doing cosplay at cons requires months of hard work, preparation, and dedication, and in return you get the bliss and fun of few precious days with other people as obsessed and dedicated as you. If this bombing had happened to a con I would have the same reaction - horror that some assholes could target completely innocent people who had gathered together just to have some fun and show off their hobby.
(04-17-2013, 03:57 PM)Dtrain323i link Wrote: [ -> ]I'm more concerned about what legislation will come out of this since that WILL directly affect me. Most likely negatively.
Sadly, the ones who always seem to benefit from terrorism are the terrorists and the government.
****
The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference.
(04-17-2013, 05:49 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ]There's a large difference between "completely desensitized" and understanding/concern/empathy. Just as some people say "leg muscles" and others say "quads, glutes, calves", some people have a more highly developed vocabulary for their emotions. I suggest that it's good for everyone to cultivate an appreciation for the ranges of human emotion, or, as it is called, our common condition.
I know my vocabulary is weak. I've been working on it by reading more often.
I guess I was just a bit anxious and overwhelmed last night and I needed to converse with someone. I've been studying for my math placement test and a decent amount of money and time is riding on my performance and it's just all a bit to handle getting caught up with all the stuff I used to know back in high school.
(04-17-2013, 05:49 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=zaneyard link=topic=2632.msg265119#msg265119 date=1366168146]
Is it abnormal to be completely desensitized to the recent happenings at the boston marathon
(04-17-2013, 09:33 AM)Evil Cheese link Wrote: [ -> ]Sure I was concerned and I could say it was a horrible event, but I didn't seem to have the emotional attachment other people did.
There's a large difference between "completely desensitized" and understanding/concern/empathy.
Just as some people say "leg muscles" and others say "quads, glutes, calves", some people have a more highly developed vocabulary for their emotions. I suggest that it's good for everyone to cultivate an appreciation for the ranges of human emotion, or, as it is called, our common condition.
[/quote]put in terms that zane can understand. thanks rummy, you're too good for us
It scares me how credible that guy can sound sometimes.
(04-17-2013, 10:37 PM)Dtrain323i link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Squishy link=topic=2632.msg265190#msg265190 date=1366249311]
PROOF! Boston Marathon Bombing is Staged Terror Attack
here you go dtrain, made link title since its not embedding for whatever reason
It was Pakistani Jews acting on orders from bilderberg lizardmen
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
[/quote]
![[Image: orIIjU5.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/orIIjU5.jpg)
New doctor says I should change my antidepressant because the one I'm on is obviously not working. He rattled off a bunch of symptoms I've been struggling with that I didn't even realize could've been caused by that medication not working properly. Lovely.
Yuck, I'm sorry about that at0m. Antidepressants are a nasty thing to have to deal with, not to mention switching which ones you're on. You're probably well set in your mentality about them, but have you considered not taking them?
edit: hey, Watertown
(04-18-2013, 11:18 PM)Dr. Zaius link Wrote: [ -> ]Yuck, I'm sorry about that at0m. Antidepressants are a nasty thing to have to deal with, not to mention switching which ones you're on. You're probably well set in your mentality about them, but have you considered not taking them?
edit: hey, Watertown
I'm actually pretty well set against taking meds in their entirety, with Antidepressants, Benzodiazepenes (anti-anxiety meds), and ADD/ADHD meds taking the top spot in shit I really don't want to ever HAVE to take. Seen too much shit as a Pharm Tech, know how fucked up some of that shit can make you.
I've tried not taking
themmy antidepressants several times in the last few years, in stretches varying between a few weeks to six months, and shit's worse. MMJ isn't an option, if that's what you're talking about.
So, we were discussing the crazy newsweek at work. And I mentioned that I know a guy who's got knee high water in his apartment in Chicago from the flooding, and everyone's like, "There's flooding in Chicago?"Â
How crazy is it that Chicago is underwater and there's enough stuff clogging the newsfeed that no one knows about it?Â
(04-19-2013, 08:14 AM)at0m link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Dr. Zaius link=topic=2632.msg265261#msg265261 date=1366345132]
Yuck, I'm sorry about that at0m. Antidepressants are a nasty thing to have to deal with, not to mention switching which ones you're on. You're probably well set in your mentality about them, but have you considered not taking them?
edit: hey, Watertown
I'm actually pretty well set against taking meds in their entirety, with Antidepressants, Benzodiazepenes (anti-anxiety meds), and ADD/ADHD meds taking the top spot in shit I really don't want to take.
I've tried not taking them several times in the last few years, in stretches varying between a few weeks to six months, and shit's worse. MMJ isn't an option, if that's what you're talking about.
[/quote]
No I wasn't going anywhere with herb, I was just wondering about how the meds affected you, and if you've yet tried an approach without them. I guess being on them for a longer period of time affects your dependency, so to speak. I was on zoloft for one year before my parents decided it wasn't for me, (which I thank them for taking me off of it) and that was what made me ask.
Is Chi town seriously underwater?
Is Dr. Doom behind all of this?
(04-19-2013, 10:16 AM)Dr. Zaius link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=at0m link=topic=2632.msg265269#msg265269 date=1366377275]
[quote author=Dr. Zaius link=topic=2632.msg265261#msg265261 date=1366345132]
Yuck, I'm sorry about that at0m. Antidepressants are a nasty thing to have to deal with, not to mention switching which ones you're on. You're probably well set in your mentality about them, but have you considered not taking them?
edit: hey, Watertown
I'm actually pretty well set against taking meds in their entirety, with Antidepressants, Benzodiazepenes (anti-anxiety meds), and ADD/ADHD meds taking the top spot in shit I really don't want to take.
I've tried not taking them several times in the last few years, in stretches varying between a few weeks to six months, and shit's worse. MMJ isn't an option, if that's what you're talking about.
[/quote]No I wasn't going anywhere with herb, I was just wondering about how the meds affected you, and if you've yet tried an approach without them. I guess being on them for a longer period of time affects your dependency, so to speak. I was on zoloft for one year before my parents decided it wasn't for me, (which I thank them for taking me off of it) and that was what made me ask.
[/quote]Having a family history of depression and self-destructive/suicidal tendencies effects it quite a bit more than 'dependency' on big pharma's pills, but thanks for adding to the stigma of seeking treatment. I don't WANT to take meds, I want the desire to die in my sleep to stop, and the motivation I used to feel to get out of bed and be a human to come back.
(04-19-2013, 10:40 AM)at0m link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Dr. Zaius link=topic=2632.msg265274#msg265274 date=1366384605]
[quote author=at0m link=topic=2632.msg265269#msg265269 date=1366377275]
[quote author=Dr. Zaius link=topic=2632.msg265261#msg265261 date=1366345132]
Yuck, I'm sorry about that at0m. Antidepressants are a nasty thing to have to deal with, not to mention switching which ones you're on. You're probably well set in your mentality about them, but have you considered not taking them?
edit: hey, Watertown
I'm actually pretty well set against taking meds in their entirety, with Antidepressants, Benzodiazepenes (anti-anxiety meds), and ADD/ADHD meds taking the top spot in shit I really don't want to take.
I've tried not taking them several times in the last few years, in stretches varying between a few weeks to six months, and shit's worse. MMJ isn't an option, if that's what you're talking about.
[/quote]No I wasn't going anywhere with herb, I was just wondering about how the meds affected you, and if you've yet tried an approach without them. I guess being on them for a longer period of time affects your dependency, so to speak. I was on zoloft for one year before my parents decided it wasn't for me, (which I thank them for taking me off of it) and that was what made me ask.
[/quote]Having a family history of depression and self-destructive/suicidal tendencies effects it quite a bit more than 'dependency' on big pharma's pills, but thanks for adding to the stigma of seeking treatment. I don't WANT to take meds, I want the desire to die in my sleep to stop, and the motivation I used to feel to get out of bed and be a human to come back.
[/quote]
Again, not really the direction I was going with that. I'll stop here.
At a young age I was "diagnosed" with ADD (not ADHD, so hyperactivity was never part of it) and as with most kids they started me on ritalin. It did actually help me. However as with any medication you begin to build up an immunity. So they switched me across a few options. The last one before I just straight up said "no more" was adderol. Because it gave me those same feelings you are having. I had a girlfriend specifically tell me "I don't like you when you take your medication" as well.
I ultimately don't blame you in not wanting to take meds.