(07-16-2010, 11:22 AM)Luinbariel link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Funbucks link=topic=3603.msg164182#msg164182 date=1279297024]
[quote author=KorJax link=topic=3603.msg164179#msg164179 date=1279294399]
Ex replied out of nowhere to an e-mail I sent a month ago where I basically explained myself to him, with him apologizing for how he acted and him hoping to be friends still to me. Which is the direction I had hoped this would take and that I had lost hope would happen 
Benefits of being gay is that being friends with your ex isn't something totally weird unless you (as a straight person) are know to have many lady-friends around. I'm not going to put too much effort or thought into this though. He still did what he did and the last thing I want is to fall into some self-perpetuated fantasy mode where I crush and don't respect what I want and what he wants. Good thing I truly feel like I won't be falling into that mode.
Being friends with your ex is only awkward if you make it awkward yourself.
Blaming others is no way to go through life.
Good on you for realizing that what he did was really mean and personally, if I got ignored for a month after someone did that to me, I wouldn't be happy that they'd all of a sudden want to be friends again...I'd probably tell the guy to get fucked.
2c
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I'd tell the guy to get fucked as well. I've done so in the past with just friends, let alone intimate relations. I AM a good friend of my ex, but only after a long time and a lot of growing up on both our parts. I am not on close terms with the other, though, because it would never work.
When someone in the past has done something shitty or hurtful, disappeared for awhile, and then come back hoping to go from there I've taken it on a case by case basis. For the most part, I've said no, fuck off. It always works that way with me for friends; someone will do something shitty a few times and I'll play along, but after a few times I just break it off. Otherwise it'll just keep happening and there's only so much bullshit I can or will put up with.
TL;DR it's up to you what you do; just be careful, which I'm sure you will.
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I know and I've contemplated doing this. Except the problem is that I've really just wanted to be friends with him, since I've not met anyone else like him from a person (non dating) standpoint. The way that he acted made it clear (to me) that he didn't want to be involved with me even as a friend at all. Now I know that he wasn't secretly a douche the whole time, but really afraid to confront his issues as well as was having troubles in his life in other areas at the time which made him act like a douche. I think it's a big plus that he's admitting he's sorry and he made a few mistakes in exicution, so maybe he's not completely immature. Assuming he's telling the truth, which I have reason to belive he is especially considering his attitude toward me was completely unlike him and if he really was a secret d-bag player type of person then he wouldn't have contacted me anyways.
That's not saying I'm going to just give him a free pass or anything. I'm willing to see where this goes but I'm going to prevent myself from "falling" for him in a rebound-ish way. I'm not interested in dating him and I'm only interested in being his friend if he proves he is as well back.
Oh and he tells me that he was so late with replying because he was out of the country for a bit and had a big email backlog he was working through (I think his family is secretly rich or something because he seems to do outlandish and aspiring things like that all the time). If he's telling the truth who knows, I'm taking it with a grain of salt. I was surprised he replied to me in the first place at this point. It clears up some confusion going on in my head.
And personally I've been wanting to be "left alone" myself for the summer. When he broke up with me I ideally wanted us to talk about it in person and me telling him that I wanted to be left to my own devices for a while, and I still plan on keeping that up until school starts again in the fall (and maybe even further). I never really did get to tell him that though for obvious reasons
