This thread is now spiderguy.
enjoy your evening
Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
(03-10-2012, 10:02 AM)Live-Free-Or-Pie link Wrote: [ -> ]Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
Video record it. You should also have questions that you will want to know the answers to (e.g., tell us about your parents, your grandparents, most trouble you got into as a child, etc.). Ask the questions documentary style, and video it so the next generation can actually know your father.
also, my thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.
(03-10-2012, 10:10 AM)rumsfald link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Live-Free-Or-Pie link=topic=3709.msg240723#msg240723 date=1331391748]
Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
Video record it. You should also have questions that you will want to know the answers to (e.g., tell us about your parents, your grandparents, most trouble you got into as a child, etc.). Ask the questions documentary style, and video it so the next generation can actually know your father.
also, my thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.
[/quote]
I second this, you could also take audio only if tape is too difficult
(03-10-2012, 11:12 AM)Caffeine link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=rumsfald link=topic=3709.msg240725#msg240725 date=1331392257]
[quote author=Live-Free-Or-Pie link=topic=3709.msg240723#msg240723 date=1331391748]
Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
Video record it. You should also have questions that you will want to know the answers to (e.g., tell us about your parents, your grandparents, most trouble you got into as a child, etc.). Ask the questions documentary style, and video it so the next generation can actually know your father.
also, my thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.
[/quote]
I second this, you could also take audio only if tape is too difficult
[/quote]
That's actually a really good plan.
(03-10-2012, 11:14 AM)LT Crow link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Caffeine link=topic=3709.msg240727#msg240727 date=1331395969]
[quote author=rumsfald link=topic=3709.msg240725#msg240725 date=1331392257]
[quote author=Live-Free-Or-Pie link=topic=3709.msg240723#msg240723 date=1331391748]
Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
Video record it. You should also have questions that you will want to know the answers to (e.g., tell us about your parents, your grandparents, most trouble you got into as a child, etc.). Ask the questions documentary style, and video it so the next generation can actually know your father.
also, my thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.
[/quote]
I second this, you could also take audio only if tape is too difficult
[/quote]
That's actually a really good plan.
[/quote]
Plans are underway and I've put a line out on reddit, please upboat if you reddit:
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/commen...er_soon_i/
(03-10-2012, 11:57 AM)Live-Free-Or-Pie link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=LT Crow link=topic=3709.msg240728#msg240728 date=1331396056]
[quote author=Caffeine link=topic=3709.msg240727#msg240727 date=1331395969]
[quote author=rumsfald link=topic=3709.msg240725#msg240725 date=1331392257]
[quote author=Live-Free-Or-Pie link=topic=3709.msg240723#msg240723 date=1331391748]
Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
Video record it. You should also have questions that you will want to know the answers to (e.g., tell us about your parents, your grandparents, most trouble you got into as a child, etc.). Ask the questions documentary style, and video it so the next generation can actually know your father.
also, my thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.
[/quote]
I second this, you could also take audio only if tape is too difficult
[/quote]
That's actually a really good plan.
[/quote]
Plans are underway and I've put a line out on reddit, please upboat if you reddit:
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/commen...er_soon_i/
[/quote]
I'll be praying for you Pie. Lost my dad to cancer too, so I know how your feeling. I was 14 when he passed, and I didn't/was too stupid to get the kind of closure you're going for, so I hope the documentary helps with the process. Just try to smile when you talk to him. If he's anything like my dad was, that's what hurt him the worst, when he saw you were hurting.
(03-10-2012, 11:57 AM)Live-Free-Or-Pie link Wrote: [ -> ]Plans are underway and I've put a line out on reddit, please upboat if you reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/commen...er_soon_i/
Sorry, I don't do the reddit, so I will add more tips here.
- I'd suggest having the camera on a tripod and two of you in-frame. Like sitting on a couch or in living room chairs or something. The goal is to have a casual, comfortable conversation. Not a news interview. Do a test run of like 2 mins recording to make sure that you are both in frame and the audio is coming out clear, and after that press record and commence drinking cider and shooting the breeze. In 20 years, your family will treasure every bit of seeing you as young pie doing your part in the conversation as your father. This will be focused on his life, but it's about the both of you.
- having stock questions will help you get ideas and make sure you cover lots of ground. Here's some suggestions:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Write-Your-Fam...&id=800937 But don't feel like you have to conduct a survey and get them all. Ask the ones that make sense to start a conversation. Feel free to follow any side-stories or tangents - the questions should really just be a jumping off point to get your father to tell interesting stories. Once he starts on a yarn, get out of the way and enjoy it.
- props can be useful - this page (
http://lifebio.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-...ts-or.html) suggests going through old photo albums together and have him narrate / talk about each picture. That might be fun.
- be mindful of time - talking intensely for an hour can tire out just about anyone. give youself the permission and space to go at an easy pace and take breaks.
Best of wishes to you on this Pie. Hope you and your family have a ball making this video. I'm serious - I hope this brings some fun and light times to you all in a very dark hour.
- also, the cider makes the plan.
so my boss is apparently the biggest scumbag ever and as such i no longer work for him.
he cheated on his wife, who he has a daughter of 3 with. He cheated on his wife with his best friend's girlfriend. he has his wife convinced that it's her fault and his best friend's fault, and the wife is apparently agreeing to work it out with him and letting him still remain friends with the girl he cheated on her with. (re: still fucking her)
(03-10-2012, 11:57 AM)Live-Free-Or-Pie link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=LT Crow link=topic=3709.msg240728#msg240728 date=1331396056]
[quote author=Caffeine link=topic=3709.msg240727#msg240727 date=1331395969]
[quote author=rumsfald link=topic=3709.msg240725#msg240725 date=1331392257]
[quote author=Live-Free-Or-Pie link=topic=3709.msg240723#msg240723 date=1331391748]
Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
Video record it. You should also have questions that you will want to know the answers to (e.g., tell us about your parents, your grandparents, most trouble you got into as a child, etc.). Ask the questions documentary style, and video it so the next generation can actually know your father.
also, my thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.
[/quote]
I second this, you could also take audio only if tape is too difficult
[/quote]
That's actually a really good plan.
[/quote]
Plans are underway and I've put a line out on reddit, please upboat if you reddit:
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/commen...er_soon_i/
[/quote]
Words cannot describe the feeling of losing someone dear, but i'm happy for you it struck you when you were mature enough to comprehend the situation and be able to say Goodbye.
Also, i third those. Good luck man. You know i'll always be up for a chat if you need any.
(03-11-2012, 09:24 PM)Vongore link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Live-Free-Or-Pie link=topic=3709.msg240730#msg240730 date=1331398676]
[quote author=LT Crow link=topic=3709.msg240728#msg240728 date=1331396056]
[quote author=Caffeine link=topic=3709.msg240727#msg240727 date=1331395969]
[quote author=rumsfald link=topic=3709.msg240725#msg240725 date=1331392257]
[quote author=Live-Free-Or-Pie link=topic=3709.msg240723#msg240723 date=1331391748]
Cancer treatment for my dad is not taking, he has an undefined amount a time left (we know it's not urgent, they're saying 3 weeks - 3 months, he's going on heavy chemo until the end, DNR is set)
I am an emotional fucking wreck right now and I need to figure out how to tie it all together and say goodbye.
Current plan: Sit down with case of Cider and have him tell his life story.
Anyone have other suggestions?
Video record it. You should also have questions that you will want to know the answers to (e.g., tell us about your parents, your grandparents, most trouble you got into as a child, etc.). Ask the questions documentary style, and video it so the next generation can actually know your father.
also, my thoughts go out to you at this difficult time.
[/quote]
I second this, you could also take audio only if tape is too difficult
[/quote]
That's actually a really good plan.
[/quote]
Plans are underway and I've put a line out on reddit, please upboat if you reddit:
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/commen...er_soon_i/
[/quote]
Words cannot describe the feeling of losing someone dear, but i'm happy for you it struck you when you were mature enough to comprehend the situation and be able to say Goodbye.
Also, i third those. Good luck man. You know i'll always be up for a chat if you need any.
[/quote]
Agreed on being able to say goodbye. Not everyone gets that opportunity, glad to see you're trying to make the most of it while you can...praying good things for you and your family.
Apparently telling the girl that wants to get a place together "Look, I know we're awesome together, but I need some space for a little while and need to put some of this on hold" because you disappear for a few weeks to help sort out a dead family member's estate is the dating equivalent of hitting the eject button.
Ohwell. I think being gay would be a lot easier sometimes
you could have said yes to the bald mexican guy then
(03-13-2012, 02:59 AM)Duck link Wrote: [ -> ]Apparently telling the girl that wants to get a place together "Look, I know we're awesome together, but I need some space for a little while and need to put some of this on hold" because you disappear for a few weeks to help sort out a dead family member's estate is the dating equivalent of hitting the eject button.
Ohwell. I think being gay would be a lot easier sometimes
Did you tell her the reason was for said dead family member's estate?
I had that happen to me last year, but it was in a much, much earlier stage.