Koala. Zane.
Firstly, internet hugs. Secondly, you're not alone. Thirdly, you're allowed to feel like this, but only so long as you see it for what it is.
Allow me to posit: External expectations.
Consider how many sets of expectations are laid upon a person; Family, friends, co-workers, society. How many of those expectations do you adopt as your own? How much can one assume before it changes from a life you have lead, to one you have followed? Consider the forces behind the expectations you've set upon yourself, and whether they're self-conceived or not. It's an important distinction, as the answers to the motivation to fulfill those expectations lie within.
In the same vein, don't let society define what success is within your own life. External validation is hollow at best; Why shouldn't what you've deemed a success not be?
Finally, on the topic of self-love: Everything you see in that mirror, everything you think about yourself, every notion is you have about yourself.
Stop using anothers lens to perceive it. You have to claim ownership of it to change it. If you choose to deny a part of yourself, you deny yourself an opportunity to love yourself. You want to accept yourself as a whole, no picking, no choosing. Spare yourself the self-critique; how can you doubt what you are? It's already there, yours to discover, over a lifetime.
Speaking about myself, I can look at myself and know what I like, and what I don't(but it's still me) and the very best part of having that self-love is being able to smile at the thought of my sense of self. It's taken a lot of internal dialogue to get there, and we're still talking, but the point is to have the the honest conversation.
I believe in you gents, and I believe you will see what I already see in you. <3
One last thing:
(11-13-2013, 01:03 AM)k0ala link Wrote: [ -> ]No one develops the capacity to love in a void.
I offer a counter-point: Love is not finite. It is the love of an ideal(even in the void) that inspires hope. This is the very definition of inner strength.