Well fuck, facing a bit of a emotionally taxing dilemma here. (Please forgive a small amount of obfuscation to prevent this from getting discovered by unsavory parties, I feel safe here and I trust that none of you will report on my apostasy)
I just wanna free-form whine/vent for myself, so please bear with me.
So, I work with a well-known youth service organization that has recently decided that expelling members based on their faith tradition / sexual orientation is still a-OK. I'm involved heavily at a local level and I have a high up volunteer position of responsibility in the organization (hence the obfuscation)
I happen to be very close with this organization, I grew up with it in my local area and I hold a potentially influential position of leadership in my local area (not in the national organization).
On one hand (Rational):
The actions they are taking are prejudicial and morally wrong by any objective standard. This policy has no grounding in program materials (none.) and sits against even their own standards and as of right now, there is not much I can do to alter or affect this policy from where I sit at this time. My personal time is valuable to me and I don't want to spend it condoning prejudice. The authority that has made these rules has the say even if their stance is demonstrably hypocritical. Falling on my sword wouldn't help the cause, but it might help me.
On the other hand (Rational):
The views and actions are dictated by a small group of individuals. I feel that know the program of this organization better than most and that the program does not teach or condone bigotry (quite the opposite actually). I am equipped with the experience to put on this program in a way that does not condone or teach this prejudice and that way that I put on the program it would be compatible with and not subversive to the programâs stated directives and the mission of the program.
On that one hand again (Emotional):
I feel betrayed and shattered. The organization which I derive an objectively great set of morals from, which I sacrificed my time and energy for, which I have borne the banner for on several occasions is just so maddeningly audacious in their hypocrisy. [spoiler]This is an organization that showed up at my father's funeral to pay their respects an an intensely respectful and tasteful way.[/spoiler] This is an organization I have willfully (keyword there, I never did this against my will) participated in since I was a kid up until now and has helped shape me into who I am today. the incentive to do this is not to get some afterlife reward, it's just to be a good person and do the best with the time you have alive. It encourages people to be great people for the sake of being great people despise the ass-backwardness of the few at the top. I really want to hope they they're going to pull their heads out of their asses at some point, and I'd be happy to do it for them if I had the shot. I would like to demonstrate how I feel, but I get the (perhaps irrational?) feeling that I'll have my ass kicked out and then I can't do any good. This organization is not performing up to my personal standards and I feel like I should give them the old "Screw you guys, I'm going home" and quit with my dignity and satisfaction intact.
On that other hand again (Emotional):
The group of kids I work with is great, I want to see them succeed. I feel a little like I don't want to let them down even though that not exactly a personally beneficial feeling to have. My position is meaningful to me and it puts a set of skills that I have cultivated into good use teaching kids great things and not teaching them prejudicial things. I have tangible things I can bring to this organization and if I leave, then those potential contributions never see the light of day. I feel like there are very few places in (American) society where a single white male can have a positive influence on kids without scaring the shit out of them by telling them that they're going to hell if they don't do what I say. I think have a shot at fixing this, but it's a long one. I can do good with the time I put in, there is tangible worth to the time I put in and I really don't want to lose that. I don't.