Be Right Back, Uninstalling

(03-10-2015, 11:12 AM)zaneyard link Wrote: [ -> ]It just kinda sucks that it happened now. I'm going home for spring break this friday and the vet wanted to do it on friday. So now I have to make the decision to prolong it and be able to see him or not.

Losing a pet is harsh. You know we're here for you man.

Digging up an old post for some context... I'm at a fucking loss. This really shouldn't bother me this much, but I can't shake it. I've been doing things to try and take my mind off this whole thing (work, music, video games - especially Kerbal Space Program <3), but everything feels so unsatisfying at the end of the day and I'm always caught right back where I started. I can't tell if shit is getting worse or better, sometimes I feel great and ready to take on the world... and then other days I'm literally breaking into tears and generally feeling like I don't matter for shit to anyone. I've always been tough, grew up playing hockey so that taught me a lot about dealing with pain... but I just don't know. Pain like this is fucking unbearable, to the point where I've considered jumping off my 18th story balcony quite a few times now... but my personal resolve is to not do that shit, what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, right?

What the fuck do I do? I'm starting to lose my mind, worried that one of these days I won't be able to take it anymore... I've tried to not be worthless with my job and my friends, yet here I am, feeling worthless as ever.

(10-16-2013, 03:46 PM)Duck, Duck, Goose link Wrote: [ -> ]*snip*

Oh, and that's not even the worst part. Thing is, this happened last fucking year (2012). My mind is just so stuck on this, and I don't feel myself moving forward or getting over it on my own. I can't deal with it anymore. I just feel pathetic and worthless. I'm losing sleep, missing work, and just generally feeling like shit. I'm prescribed anti-depressants, but they don't really do fuck all, since it's just a pill, not a magical eraser for problems the mind is caught on. I'm not sure if any of you have ever dealt with anything similar, but I could really use some advice. :-\

>2012
>mfw it's 2015

How fucking long is this going to haunt me? I literally haven't gone a day without thinking of this shit and I really don't want to anymore.

You should seek out volunteer opportunities in your area.

(03-15-2015, 10:45 PM)zaneyard link Wrote: [ -> ]You should seek out volunteer opportunities in your area.

I don't even want to leave my apartment anymore, fuck that. I was at my peak, going out and partying and meeting people when that shit happened. I haven't been able to since, if I drink I just get fucking depressed. If I'm not smoking weed, I just get fucking depressed. I'm not fucking bending over backwards to get pussy, I don't give a shit. That girl in particular was everything I'd ever wanted from a ladyfriend and it's gone. Best part? She's still with the same guy. Fuck me sideways. It's like everything is a lie and nothing I can do is ever going to have significance anyways, fuck it all. Stupid temporal illusion, the lot of it. I'm just an infinitely insignificant speck of dust, gg universe. Smite now plz.

Why are you even asking for help then?

No one here is going to fix your life for you. You need to get off your ass and do it yourself.

If you really think going out and partying is your peak, you need to get off the substances, get off 4chan, get the fuck out of Canadia and experience the world.


You don't even give a shit about this girl in particular, just the idea of a girl that needs you.

You can take charge of your life and do something worthwhile or you can just sit in your apartment, smoke weed all day, and shitpost on r9k about tfwnogf.

| infinitely insignificant speck of dust

And you're right if you just think about yourself; Do something that helps other people's lives, that's how you become significant.

Zane's right. You're limiting yourself right now. There's a huge world out there that none of us have even seen yet and it's just sitting there for the picking.

Do what Zane said. Get off sites like 4chan or reddit, get off the internet, get off facebook, etc. Go outside, volunteer, learn guitar, leave your city, do SOMETHING. Sitting in your room shooting down ideas isn't going to help you.

(03-16-2015, 06:18 PM)Karth link Wrote: [ -> ]Zane's right. You're limiting yourself right now. There's a huge world out there that none of us have even seen yet and it's just sitting there for the picking.

Do what Zane said. Get off sites like 4chan or reddit, get off the internet, get off facebook, etc. Go outside, volunteer, learn guitar, leave your city, do SOMETHING. Sitting in your room shooting down ideas isn't going to help you.

The world starts outside your comfort zone. Go out, eat weird food... vomit it up because it's gross, party in strange places, but don't be an idiot. Drive like the locals, and try the local foods! Go places you wouldn't normally go... fucking live life! Honestly my life didn't even really feel like it started  until I moved away from Toledo, yeah I'm still in Ohio, but I'm a soccer and hockey fan, so I can enjoy those sports in my home state here in columbus, I can go to places like Kingmakers, we've got plenty of conventions and great foods nearby, I've lost more than 50 pounds living here just because moving only 2 hours south has given me MORE TO DO! (I was over 300 lbs)

Hey Nitrous

I like you.

I like the music you share here.

I like playing tank games with you.

(03-16-2015, 06:18 PM)Karth link Wrote: [ -> ]Zane's right. You're limiting yourself right now. There's a huge world out there that none of us have even seen yet and it's just sitting there for the picking.

Do what Zane said. Get off sites like 4chan or reddit, get off the internet, get off facebook, etc. Go outside, volunteer, learn guitar, leave your city, do SOMETHING. Sitting in your room shooting down ideas isn't going to help you.

I guess it's more that that's what I've been trying already and it just feels futile. I've already been outside, partying, meeting cool people... I deleted my reddit account, my Facebook account, and a whole bunch of others (heck, even my old forum account). I guess my discomfort stems from the fact that I'm looking for something with more meaning, something a little more lasting. Everything kinda just fades away, and I can only invest so much effort into keeping up with so many people (which I do, I have friends and such...). But then again, I guess music has been really good. It's just hard to realize that people actually appreciate what I have to offer, because I spend so much time worrying about shit (insecurities are fun) like "is it good enough" or "do people actually like it" etc.

In the end, I guess it's just on me to realize that people actually do enjoy what I have to offer, and to not worry about what people who have no part of my life anyways have to think or say... it's a strange world, can't let it get to me. I'm just glad you guys exist.

Thanks rummy.

(03-17-2015, 10:36 AM)Nitrous Oxide link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg284062#msg284062 date=1426547910]
Zane's right. You're limiting yourself right now. There's a huge world out there that none of us have even seen yet and it's just sitting there for the picking.

Do what Zane said. Get off sites like 4chan or reddit, get off the internet, get off facebook, etc. Go outside, volunteer, learn guitar, leave your city, do SOMETHING. Sitting in your room shooting down ideas isn't going to help you.

I guess it's more that that's what I've been trying already and it just feels futile. I've already been outside, partying, meeting cool people... I deleted my reddit account, my Facebook account, and a whole bunch of others (heck, even my old forum account). I guess my discomfort stems from the fact that I'm looking for something with more meaning, something a little more lasting. Everything kinda just fades away, and I can only invest so much effort into keeping up with so many people (which I do, I have friends and such...). But then again, I guess music has been really good. It's just hard to realize that people actually appreciate what I have to offer, because I spend so much time worrying about shit (insecurities are fun) like "is it good enough" or "do people actually like it" etc.

In the end, I guess it's just on me to realize that people actually do enjoy what I have to offer, and to not worry about what people who have no part of my life anyways have to think or say... it's a strange world, can't let it get to me. I'm just glad you guys exist.

Thanks rummy.
[/quote]
If you feel like everything's fading away, why not try moving? A new town can seriously change someone's perspective

(03-17-2015, 10:36 AM)Nitrous Oxide link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg284062#msg284062 date=1426547910]
Zane's right. You're limiting yourself right now. There's a huge world out there that none of us have even seen yet and it's just sitting there for the picking.

Do what Zane said. Get off sites like 4chan or reddit, get off the internet, get off facebook, etc. Go outside, volunteer, learn guitar, leave your city, do SOMETHING. Sitting in your room shooting down ideas isn't going to help you.

I guess it's more that that's what I've been trying already and it just feels futile. I've already been outside, partying, meeting cool people... I deleted my reddit account, my Facebook account, and a whole bunch of others (heck, even my old forum account). I guess my discomfort stems from the fact that I'm looking for something with more meaning, something a little more lasting. Everything kinda just fades away, and I can only invest so much effort into keeping up with so many people (which I do, I have friends and such...). But then again, I guess music has been really good. It's just hard to realize that people actually appreciate what I have to offer, because I spend so much time worrying about shit (insecurities are fun) like "is it good enough" or "do people actually like it" etc.

In the end, I guess it's just on me to realize that people actually do enjoy what I have to offer, and to not worry about what people who have no part of my life anyways have to think or say... it's a strange world, can't let it get to me. I'm just glad you guys exist.

Thanks rummy.
[/quote]

Find something you're good at and don't hate doing and stick with it. People get side tracked trying to follow dreams all the time, but if you find something you can do well, people will appreciate it. Eventually you'll get satisfaction from knowing that you knock it out of the park every god damned time.

Here's the deal man; You're me like 2 years ago. I know what it's like to not really have any friends that you really connect with.

The good part about not really having anyone to bother with is that you're free to do whatever the fuck you want. If I think back to the period after high school where I pretty much had no friends for about 4 years and imagine that I did have friends then, I think that I almost certainly would have become someone else. It was those periods of time that I discovered what I truly love in life. I discovered motorcycles, magic, lifting, etc. I started lifting and riding because of when my girlfriend dumped me I wanted her to be jealous later, but I found out that these things are something I live for. Maybe I still would have ended up on the same path, maybe I wouldn't have. It's interesting to speculate about it but I guess I'll never really know. The point is, try some new shit. The goal is to find the stuff that you can do with your life that you would feel completely fine about doing it alone for the rest of your life.

And it does suck sometimes. I'm not going to pretend that I don't get lonely at times, but I'm happy with the person that I've become and I have goals for where I want my life to go. And I'm sure not meeting any girls playing magic, and riding and lifting is pretty much always a solo thing for me, but that doesn't matter to me. It's like taking cooking class in junior high to meet girls but then realizing it's all guys and you really fucking like cooking. Join a club, hit up the rock climbing wall, do something. You're in a big city and you have those opportunities.

water heater has a leak in it, fucking awesome

So, I was in a car accident.  That's not the FML part.  From a distance, it was kind of neat.  My car did things it wasn't supposed to do while only sustaining cosmetic damage with no injuries.  The cop who arrived on the scene gave me the ticket.  He said "I have to give someone a ticket" which is bullshit.  He could have just...not.  Who would have told him he was wrong?  He's the cop.  I would have had to be Superman to control the car in that situation.  Literally super strong with the ability to fly and lift the damn thing off the road.  Given how much I hate cops and their filthy pig guts, I'm not surprised.  If anyone on the forum is or knows a cop...please prove me wrong.  Every cop I've ever met in any situation has been a tremendous asshole, even the ones who are helping me.  But that's still not the FML part.

I call my insurance and they have a list of recommended places to go to get a new bumper (that and the taillight.  Back bumper got tore off, but I figure it did it's job.  Other guy lost his mirror and had a gouge in his door.  We got lucky).  So, I go there and they give me an estimate.  It's costly AND I find out I have $1000 deductible, so I'll have to pay at least that much.  But still, I can handle it.  No FML yet.

They schedule me for an appointment.  It's in two and half weeks, so I'm driving my bumperless Grand Prix around and I can feel the stares.  Like "Wow, what the hell did that idiot do to his car!"  Well, fuck off, other drivers.  None of your business.  

March 10th, I bring it in.  It's been two weeks, so I figure they're ready.  They have to be, right?  I brought it in, they took pictures, they know all about it.  They even know that I fixed my taillight myself.  I bought a brand new one, brought it over to my Dad, and we fixed it so I didn't get pulled over for two weeks for having a broken taillight.  I'm ready, I'm somewhat knowledgeable, and I figure they'll be able to sense that in a kind of auto-mechanic spidey-sense kind of way.  I say "So I'll come back tomorrow?"  They go "Well, we'll call you tomorrow and tell you how long it's going to take".  Well, fuck all.  I thought my appointment was for today.  Apparently, "appointment" to them means "leave the car here and we'll get around to it some other day".

I'm spoiled, really.  My dad fixed my car all the time until he retired.  My old man just can't, anymore, and that's cool.  He's done more than enough.  So I ask him.  How long is reasonable?  The next day, they said they'll have it until Monday.  Dad said that was reasonable.  My Mom's car had considerable damage and DePaula Chevrolet had it for a month.  Well, fuck.  At least we can drive around in my wife's Prius, but it's just not the same.

Monday happens.  They update me - well, they keep using my wife's name.  They think I'm her for some reason, despite being corrected several times.  I know her name is first on the insurance.  I'm not a woman, so I'm pretty sure you can tell who's name is whose (we have pretty anglo-normative sounding names).  The update is that it'll be another day.  I'm told they've been having trouble getting parts.  Is that so?  When I ordered a bumper from EBay, it got here pretty damn fast.  And yes, I've had a similar experience before.  My Dad painted the front bumper and I helped him get it onto the car.  It was done pretty quick and it was done well.  You can only tell that the front is a slight shade different from the body if you're looking for it.  I only went with the garage, this time, because a cop was involved and I want to show that I'm doing all I can to make sure the car's in working order.  You never know what those pigs will gripe about.  Remember: still not FML.

So, this morning, I wait anxiously for my phone to buzz at me.  I pick it up.  It's the manager of the garage.  He tells me that the refurbished bumper (nothing wrong with refurbished, of course) didn't come with brackets.  You can't get it onto the car.  He has to order one from a dealer and get an OEM Pontiac bumper and IT'LL BE ANOTHER THREE DAYS.  He keeps telling me how he's deeply sorry.  I'm sure he's neither.

So these fuckers have had WEEKS to order a bumper - which they knew they needed from day one - make sure it had all the pieces, paint it, and put it on the car.  Simple shit like that.  And I know from experience exactly how long that takes.  Even when Dad made a mistake and had to sand it down and start over, it was still pretty damn quick.  He was never a body guy, either.  He's just good at what he does.  For these jokers, it should be their bread and butter, so how hard can they possible fuck this up!?

But, I'm still going to go in there on Friday (fingers crossed), pay them more money than they deserve, and drive away.  FML.

(03-17-2015, 10:36 AM)Nitrous Oxide link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg284062#msg284062 date=1426547910]
Zane's right. You're limiting yourself right now. There's a huge world out there that none of us have even seen yet and it's just sitting there for the picking.

Do what Zane said. Get off sites like 4chan or reddit, get off the internet, get off facebook, etc. Go outside, volunteer, learn guitar, leave your city, do SOMETHING. Sitting in your room shooting down ideas isn't going to help you.

I guess it's more that that's what I've been trying already and it just feels futile. I've already been outside, partying, meeting cool people... I deleted my reddit account, my Facebook account, and a whole bunch of others (heck, even my old forum account). I guess my discomfort stems from the fact that I'm looking for something with more meaning, something a little more lasting. Everything kinda just fades away, and I can only invest so much effort into keeping up with so many people (which I do, I have friends and such...). But then again, I guess music has been really good. It's just hard to realize that people actually appreciate what I have to offer, because I spend so much time worrying about shit (insecurities are fun) like "is it good enough" or "do people actually like it" etc.

In the end, I guess it's just on me to realize that people actually do enjoy what I have to offer, and to not worry about what people who have no part of my life anyways have to think or say... it's a strange world, can't let it get to me. I'm just glad you guys exist.

Thanks rummy.
[/quote]

Are you on the same phone number?? I tried to text you but no dice. I been really bad at communicating in the last while and I'm working on changing that. Apologies for that. Lemme know if you want to talk, man, I also have an exciting opportunity for you...you should plan a trip out to Vancouver and we can get it going, but it could also work if you can't either.

:'( http://jalopnik.com/jeremy-clarkson-offi...1693551101

(03-25-2015, 09:47 AM)WaR1761 link Wrote: [ -> ]:'( http://jalopnik.com/jeremy-clarkson-offi...1693551101

So now the BBC tanks and some other network picks them up for top gear 2.0

(03-25-2015, 10:34 AM)Sogo -{メルメル}- link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=WaR1761 link=topic=3709.msg284237#msg284237 date=1427294861]
:'( http://jalopnik.com/jeremy-clarkson-offi...1693551101

So now the BBC tanks and some other network picks them up for top gear 2.0
[/quote]

For those unfamiliar, ohhh the memories.

http://youtu.be/7e7R3y-qwZ0

(03-25-2015, 12:55 PM)WaR1761 link Wrote: [ -> ][quote author=Sogo -{メルメル}- link=topic=3709.msg284238#msg284238 date=1427297696]
[quote author=WaR1761 link=topic=3709.msg284237#msg284237 date=1427294861]
:'( http://jalopnik.com/jeremy-clarkson-offi...1693551101

So now the BBC tanks and some other network picks them up for top gear 2.0
[/quote]

For those unfamiliar, ohhh the memories.

http://youtu.be/7e7R3y-qwZ0
[/quote]

Top Gear's New Presenter Revealed!